Over the years I have had many single adult friends say that the reason they don’t like singles wards is because there are so many people in them, which makes it impossible not to fall through the cracks.
However, I have also heard this said about school and even work where the numbers of people differ. So, if it is not necessarily the number of people involved that brings this unwanted phenomenon about, then what is it that causes more and more people to feel this way? Even more important, how do we stop this from happening?
As I have pondered these two questions, I have come to the conclusion that it is not the environment, but rather the attitude and choices of the person involved which decided whether or not they “fall through the cracks” As they call it.
So, if it is in the individuals hands, then what can he or she do to keep this from happening? I have three suggestions:
1. Instead of waiting for others to seek you out to meet and get to know you, be the first to act.
Chances are that the other person feels the same way that you do. Imagine how many friends are just a smile and a friendly hello away.
2. When you join a new ward, don’t wait to receive a calling and Home Teaching/Visiting Teaching assignment. Again, be proactive and go up to your new bishop and Elders Quorum/Relief Society President and ask to be given a calling and assignment right away.
Serving is not only a good way to make true and enduring friends, but is also a way to quickly find your place.
3. Participate in church Activities.
Church activities are a time and place to relax, and have fun. They are also a great place to mingle and get to know lots of people, who you usually see in passing at church.
Yes, all of these suggestions require one to be proactive and put themselves forward, but if you will do so there is no way you will get lost in the cracks.
“While the word proactivity is now fairly common in management literature, it is a word you won’t find in most dictionaries. It means more than merely taking initiative. It means that as human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.” Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, by Stephen R. Covey
