During my time serving as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I was sent to an area where many of the saints were struggling. This area hadn’t had missionaries for almost a year before my companion (the missionary I was assigned to serve with)and I arrived. The stress was high. To make matters worse, we both had hard experiences with previous companions.
One night we started discussing the problems we were facing in this new area. Before I knew what had happened, we were discussing our past area and companions. The longer we talked, the more unkind our words became. Luckily, we realized what was happening and stopped speaking in such a way, immediately.
We were ashamed not only in what we had said, but in how easy it had been to reach that level where we were saying such things to begin with.
Knowing that,
“True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior.”–Do Not Fear, Boyd K. Packer, Ensign, May 2004
we decided to look for a scripture to memorize, which would remind us of the proper usage of speech. The very next morning, in my personal study, I found what we had been looking for, in the New Testament.
“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.
And grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.
Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:
And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:29-32
I presented this scriptural find to my companion, in our study, and we discussed what it was saying. When we were saying unkind things, we were in essence grieving the Holy Spirit. We were harming those we spoke about and ourselves, as well. Not wanting this to happen, we promised each other and the Lord that we would seek to use our speech to uplift, and edify, not to demean or destroy.
To help us to remember our promise, we memorized these verses of Scripture and repeated it together every day of our remaining time together. Having this standard in our minds and soon in our hearts, as well, helped us to fulfill our promise.
Sadly, since my mission, there have been many times among my single adult friends that conversations have taken a downward turn like that conversation long ago between my mission companion and me. Whenever this begins to occur, I find myself repeating in my mind those verses I had found in Paul’s Epistle to the Ephesians, which remind me, like before, what I should and should not be saying. I am thankful for that reminder for as Elder Holland reminded us in the April 2007 General Conference, words hold power.
“So, brothers and sisters, in this long eternal quest to be more like our Savior, may we try to be “perfect” men and women in at least this one way now—by offending not in word, or more positively put, by speaking with a new tongue, the tongue of angels. Our words, like our deeds, should be filled with faith and hope and charity, the three great Christian imperatives so desperately needed in the world today. With such words, spoken under the influence of the Spirit, tears can be dried, hearts can be healed, lives can be elevated, hope can return, confidence can prevail” The Tongue of Angels, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
