I’ve discussed this next idea from “10 Ways to Teach Values in the Home” before. This time I’d like to discuss a few key points brought out from the pamphlet that was published by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons).
Looking for chances to teach your children any lesson is likened to Jesus teaching parables. These parables “helped his followers understand important principles.” In much the same way we can help our own children understand and live these same values.
In the pamphlet we are encouraged to do two particular things:
1. “Use familiar phrases or memory devices to help your children remember important family values.”
In other words, all those trite phrases we as adults laugh at really work. Think along the lines of, “A penny saved is a penny earned,” or perhaps, “Honesty is the best policy” (Don Quixote). The reason they’re still around after all these years is they’re easy to memorize, and get the point across.
2. “Teach your children right from wrong. Discuss the consequences of making good or bad choices, of keeping or breaking family rules. When your children make wrong choices, act promptly and consistently to administer the consequences or allow them to occur.”
Children need to know why. It’s not enough to simply tell them no, or what they did wrong. They need to hear the whys involved. Otherwise the only lesson learned is, “If I do that again Mom or Dad will be mad.”
When my oldest was only five years old she and my mother were spending the day together. They were second in line to checkout at a store. Right in front of my daughter was a boy, a little younger than her, who was eyeing a bunch of balloons that had fallen from their bins right up front. He noticed my daughter watching him, placed his finger up to his smiling lips, and picked up one of the balloons.
It wasn’t until my daughter and Grandma got out to the car that she started crying. Grandma couldn’t figure out why until from the depths of her little pocket my daughter pulled out a bright, pink balloon.
Are you all thinking “Teaching Moment” right now? Fortunately for me Grandma was. In the end my daughter went back inside to say what she’d done, and paid for the balloon with the few coins she’d brought along.
The story doesn’t actually end there. During the course of the morning I got a phone call from Grandma, who told me the entire thing. “She’s so upset,” I was told, “and is worried about what you’re going to say.” My poor little girl thought I would be so mad and couldn’t enjoy her time with Grandma until I’d forgiven her (which I promptly did). My daughter had already handed out her own punishment. I didn’t need to do more.
Not all teaching moments are so obvious. Sometimes it’s the simple act of working together, and teaching your child to do a job well. Children love to work alongside their parents. My kids love to wash dishes with Mom (Mom’s not quite as enthusiastic about it, so it doesn’t happen as often as it should). During this time we look carefully at each item to be sure it’s really clean. This teaches them to do a thorough job. It also teaches them about being clean, so we’re not eating dirty dishes. Not only that but it opens up the lines of communication where other teaching moments will appear.
Just today my 5-yr old and I were playing ‘Go Fish.’ He kept wanting to bend a few rules, to make it easier for both of us to play. Right then I knew I needed to let him know the rules are set up for a reason, and we needed to follow them so everyone could have a good time.
We must be mindful of our children. Finding these Take their concerns and their joys seriously. It is in these things we will find the best teaching moments.
