A sweet woman my husband works with has twin girls just a year older than my own daughter. Every six months or so she goes through her girls’ closet and locates all the clothes that are too small and lovingly hands them over to us. These gifts of clothes come as quite a blessing and we dearly appreciate her thinking of us first. With some of the clothes, however, there is one problem. They’re not very modest.

I will admit to being disturbed by the fashion trends geared towards pre-teen girls. In fact, even when my daughter was seven it was difficult to find clothes that weren’t cut too high or too low, and I was often forced to buy shirts and shorts a size bigger just to ensure her body would be appropriately covered.

The idea of being modest needs to be taught early in a child’s life. Think of where your child will be in five years. What do you want your child to hold important then that you can start teaching him/her about now?

I’ve been working with my daughter since she was about five to consider which clothes show too much skin, making them immodest. The idea of modesty is certainly not new. I would imagine many in today’s world consider the idea to be rather old-fashioned. Fortunately, old-fashioned doesn’t have to mean unnecessary.

I teach girls age 12-17 in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or Mormon Church as it is also known. Some of the girls are great when it comes to dressing modestly: skirts/dresses to the knee or below, shirts cut long on the bottom and not too low on the neck, clothes that don’t fit too tight. I can tell that these girls have been taught since they were young what dressing modestly is all about.

Other girls have a harder time with the idea. I don’t know if it’s by their own choice, or because they were never taught what being modest in their dress is all about. In those cases we, as leaders, try to help them on an individual basis to subtly modify their clothes to become more modest. It’s also important to tell them why. (If you’d like a guide on how to dress modestly, go to “Staying Modest“.)

Why is it so important to teach our children to be modest?

“Our body is a gift from God; it is necessary for us to progress; we had to come to earth to get it; we must take care of it; one of the blessings of having a body is that someday we will be able to create other bodies” (Terrance D. Olson, “Teaching Morality to Your Children,” Ensign, Mar 1981).

When it comes to teaching children about anything, even about why we should be modest, keep it simple. They don’t need a lot of details. Most of what we know they would never fully understand. Only when your children get a little older will they require a little more knowledge.

Think about how God teaches us. We can read in Isaiah 28:13,

“But the word of the LORD was unto them precept upon precept, precept upon precept; line upon line, line upon line; here a little, and there a little.”

We see this idea again in the Book of Mormon, another testament of Christ, when we look in 2 Nephi 28:30.

“For behold, thus saith the Lord God: I will give unto the children of men line upon line, precept upon precept, here a little and there a little; and blessed are those who hearken unto my precepts, and lend an ear unto my counsel, for they shall learn wisdom; for unto him that receiveth I will give more; and from them that shall say, We have enough, from them shall be taken away even that which they have.”

As we grow in the things of the spirit and become prepared, the Lord will grant us with more knowledge. It’s important we treat our children the same thing.

“By teaching the Lord’s view on moral cleanliness, we are offering our children a standard by which alternative views can be seen for what they really are: alternatives to the Lord’s view” (Terrance D. Olson, “Teaching Morality to Your Children,” Ensign, Mar 1981).

The Lord wants us to have healthy, beautiful bodies, and to keep them appropriately dressed.

Going through the clothes freely given to us by my husband’s co-worker, I find it’s now possible to give my daughter the lead as to what she wants to keep and what we will give away. Though she may not understand all of the reasons it’s important to remain appropriately dressed, she has learned how to judge what is modest. I can testify this will be a strength to her as she gets older.