I distinctly recall walking through the grocery store with my family when I was younger. This was in a time when there would be giant displays of food items out in the open, tempting little fingers. Mine were definitely tempted as we passed a large bin full of individually wrapped caramels. They did this around Halloween time to dip apples for a great treat. I personally thought the caramel itself would be a fantastic treat and I grabbed one.
A part of me obviously knew it was wrong, as I attempted to hide my action by trying to unwrap the caramel with my sleeves covering my hands. For any of you who have ever tried unwrapping a caramel knows, they don’t unwrap quietly. My father looked back and immediately knew what was going on (parents are tricky that way).
Later on I found myself in my room with the words, “I want you to think about what you did” echoing in my ears. The funny thing is, I did. I thought long and hard about why I had thought taking the caramel would be okay. I really contemplated why it was the wrong thing to do. When my father came back in to talk with me, I think a part of him was surprised that I had done exactly as he had asked.
This was certainly not the last time I had difficulties with honesty, though I never stole again. For some reason my lessons in honesty had to come the hard way – through experience as opposed to learning through the examples and cautions of others. I was about fourteen before I realized the need to take control of the untrue words that came out of my mouth.
Why is being honest so important? First and foremost it’s a commandment. In fact, it’s two commandments.
“Thou shalt not steal…Thou shalt not bear false witness” (Exodus 20: 15-16).
There is a booklet called For the Strength of Youth put out by leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (nicknamed the Mormon Church). In this booklet are several areas they felt most impressed by the Spirit of the Lord to write about in order to help guide teens of today in navigating through a time of much temptation. Honesty is one of those areas.
“Be honest with yourself, others, and the Lord. When you are honest in every way, you build strength of character that will allow you to be of great service to God and others. You will be blessed with peace of mind and self-respect. When you are honest, you will be trusted by the Lord and by those around you” (p.31).
Perhaps it sounds a bit unrealistic, the thought of being completely honest, especially if you’ve spent a lot of time being dishonest. I can testify that change is possible. I personally know you can find peace and self-respect, become trusted by the Lord and those around you. I also know from experience it’s possible to trust myself now to make a conscious choice to be honest.
I don’t think we can possibly understand what being dishonest does to us until we pull ourselves back out of that hole. Only when we’ve regained the good Spirit we pushed away through unrighteous choices do we realize what we had lost.
“Dishonesty hurts you and usually hurts others as well. When you lie, steal, shoplift, or cheat, you damage your spirit and become less able to do good things” (For the Strength of Youth, p.31).
We tend to ignore what our actions do to those around us, fooling ourselves into believing no one is getting hurt, not even ourselves. Rationalization is a favorite tool of Satan. He would have us convince ourselves every bad choice we make isn’t all that bad.
“Don’t rationalize that wrong is right, even though many people around you may think there is no harm in being dishonest. Being honest requires courage and commitment to do what you know is right” (For the Strength of Youth, p.31).
Being dishonest isn’t hard. Being honest and upright is.
At seventeen I was coming out of an Orchestra practice. We were preparing for a play, and my parents had allowed me to take the car so they wouldn’t have to drop me off and pick me up. I wasn’t paying enough attention and broke one of the taillights. I was horrified! My first thought was, ‘What am I going to tell my parents?’ That two-minute drive had never seemed longer in my life. I literally felt like there was a little angel on my right shoulder and a little devil on my left, each trying to convince me which way to choose.
I chose to tell my parents the truth. They were disappointed, and I hated that it cost them so much to fix the light, but I was so glad I’d told the truth. There was no guilt tacked on, no more lies to keep covering the first one up. Once it was done it was done, and my parents still trusted me afterwards. Being honest, even though it was so hard, was positively freeing.
Being honest isn’t always the easy choice. It is, however, one of the best choices you can make.
