Okay, it finally happens! When in a crisis or extremely difficult time, it is natural that you will feel anxious and scared. The important thing to do is to try to keep calm. You can reassure your family members with phrases such as, “We are all still together, I won’t leave you alone,” or “You don’t have to worry I will look after you. We will get through this.” Tell them what has happened and let them know what you are doing about it, what you can do about it and also what you can’t do about it. This is the time when practice sessions for your emergency preparedness really pay off.
It is okay to admit that there are some things you cannot control, resolve or bring to an end. You just have to cope as best you can.
I still vividly recall, the conversation I was having with myself, as the floor pitched and rolled under me during the Loma Prieta earthquake, “Calm down Barbara. You have to find your shoes, Barbara. Try to calm down, Barbara. Think! What is it you have to do? CALM DOWN, BARBARA! Don’t scream – yet,” and so on. At that point I was beyond being scared silly, me the one who was supposed to be prepared. Yes, I was a total basket case. My bones had turned to Jell-O.
And so I repeat, you just have to cope as best you can.
Communication is the key in such situations. Let your family members talk about what they are feeling. Listen to their worries and dispel as many as you can, while still allowing them to deal with reality. And it’s OK to tell them “it’s Ok,” to be afraid when you don’t know what is going on. Sometimes the most important thing is to just be able to talk. One of the best things to do is to try to stick to what is “normal” as much as possible. Fixing “meals,” washing hands, saying prayers or reading stories: simple habits emphasized during difficulties create calmness. Decide before the need arises to make normalcy a priority.
Let’s consider the well known quote from the Doctrine and Covenants 38:30 “ … If Ye are Prepared, Ye Shall Not Fear …” Following is a bit of personal insight, Barbara doctrine, you might say. Many times this scripture is quoted with emphatic pronouncement (inferred) that if you have your 10,000 pounds of wheat under the bed (literary license taken here!), that you will (or should be) be as calm as the wind in the eye of a tornado when your disaster descends.
There is a great deal of difference between peace, confidence and the ability to move forward, doing the required tasks to get through a chaotic situation and the perceived state of euphoria while singing “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” as the other side of that tornado comes at you full force.
At midnight, the night of that Big One, I sat on the floor in the middle of the rubble in our living room. As the floor and I continued to shudder, I wrote in my journal by camping-lantern light, while tears streamed down my face. Prayers are answered and calmness comes … eventually.
Just remember, try to be practical in your preparedness, coping as best you can.
