The pressure to get married within the Mormon (LDS) culture can be they’re 22, something must be desperately wrong, ha-ha.
By the time you’ve reached late twenties, it’s time to kiss any chance for marriage out the door. Dreaded terms like ‘old maid’ and ‘settled bachelor’ are forever whispering in the wind.
Unfortunately for many as the years pile on, so can the desire to do something drastic, like marry the wrong person. One young man, we’ll call him Jackson, almost did just that.
At thirty he was not married, there were no prospects in the midst, and two loving and supportive parents were chattering in his ear that it was time to get serious. So Jackson set about to make that happen.
He asked out a woman from work. We’ll call her Angela. Now Angela wasn’t the happiest person in the world. In fact, she managed to bring down a lot of people there at work with her constant complaining and whining. She was, however, very single and very LDS. The two of them dated for several months. He even asked her to marry him, to which she readily agreed.
As their engagement progressed, something began to happen to Jackson. The more he prayed, the more he knew this situation was not right. Beyond that, he found himself growing miserable as well. A happy man by nature, Angela’s constant neediness and moroseness wore on Jackson. He found himself dreading the thought of going to work.
At last the day came when Jackson knew he couldn’t do it anymore. Breaking off the engagement was the hardest thing he’d ever had to do at that point in his life, but it was the right choice. Almost immediately he felt a weight lifted from his shoulders.
Though it wasn’t easy, Jackson continued to work with Angela, until they fell into an awkward (albeit amicable) friendship. He had wholeheartedly come to grips with the thought that marriage was not in his future, and after a time he felt okay with that. After all, no marriage had to be better than being married to the wrong person. Right?
Three years passed. Jackson came back from a vacation to find a new person at work. Her name was Katelyn. She was twenty. After a few months of working together he knew she was the woman he was supposed to marry. But how does one convince someone thirteen years younger that they’re destined to be together? Not to mention the little fact that Jackson had sworn never to date someone he worked with ever again.
So he took to praying. A lot. He also began going to the temple. A lot. During this time he and Katelyn began to form a wonderful friendship. After about a year something remarkable happened. She let it be known it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if he were to ask her out. Hmmm. So he tried it.
Jackson and Katelyn have been married now for eleven years. They have four beautiful children.
Today’s message? Don’t get pressured into marrying when you know he or she is not the right one. Being married to the right person is the best. Just ask Jackson.
