Yay! It’s finally February! I don’t know about you but January seemed to drag on forever! I am excited because with every month that passes it means spring is getting closer and closer! Now, being a Mormon mommy blogger I talk a lot about who I am as a mother. While it is a huge blessing to be a mother, it’s not all that I am. I am also a daughter, a sister, a niece, and a wife. Today I’d like to share my thoughts on being a wife. I’d also like to talk about my husband’s socks.
For starters, I am just like any other wife. When he comes home, I am not in my apron with perfectly coiffed hair and a hot meal I made from scratch with my kids lined up ready to greet their “Pa” a la June Cleaver. Sorry, not at this house! When my husband comes home, he often finds my dear daughter making herself dizzy in the living room while I am looking at a new recipe for dinner, only to realize it was a crockpot meal and I should have started dinner at noon. Oops. Some days, I am faced with the fear husband will look around and notice the house looks exactly like it did yesterday and the day before. I am not perfect.
When we first got married so many people told us to prepare ourselves because the first year of marriage was the hardest. I guess because we are getting to know each other, our quirks, and bad habits. Sure there were some differences for example when replacing the toilet paper; I like to put the toilet paper on the roll, my sweet husband likes to lay it on top! But there was nothing too serious..then I met my husband’s socks. I would find them lying around here and there and at first, I thought this was cute. (Don’t judge. I was a newlywed!) Then I had my daughter, and it seemed we had new challenges and keeping a tidy house wasn’t as easy! Then the socks weren’t just lying around they were everywhere! My favorite place to find them was on top of the hamper instead of in the hamper. My husband’s cute socks quickly became stinky and obnoxious and instead of lovingly picking them up, I was picking them up and hiding them. I thought that if all his socks were missing, it would teach him a lesson and he would be better at containing them in one place. But, I never got to that point because no matter how much I hid them, he still found more! On top of it, he didn’t even notice they were missing! I am convinced his drawer must be like Mary Poppins’s bag, where he just has an endless supply!
One day I was reading the Ensign magazine, an official periodical of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, which contains spiritual and uplifting messages. I came across a story about a couple. The wife hated that her husband always splashed toothpaste on the mirror and never wiped it off. It drove her crazy!! (Sound familiar?) It drove her so crazy to the point where it became resentment towards her husband. As time passed, they grew older, and her husband became ill and passed away. They had been married 60+ years and for 60 years she let this bother her. Months after his passing, her daughter went to visit her and found her mother in tears as she admitted to a mistake she had made for so long. She confessed the day after her husband died, she went to clean her bathroom mirror and there was toothpaste on it. She cleaned it but found that on the 2nd day there was more toothpaste on the mirror, and the same thing happened on the day after that and the day after that. She realized she had blamed her husband for all those years when they both were getting toothpaste on the mirror.
Now, after reading this, I wish I could say I all of a sudden loved finding my husband’s socks lying around but that would be a lie! I did, though, have a new appreciation for him and all he is. He is a great provider. He is a wonderful father, and a dedicated husband. He serves his family, and serves his Heavenly Father, and I really could not ask for a better husband. Through reading that article I learned that in the grand scheme of things, his socks are something so small. I also realized that in my marriage I was focusing on the wrong “small things”. I was focusing on the negative instead of the positive.
My husband makes our family his special pancake breakfasts every Saturday. No matter how tired he is, he helps me do the dishes after dinner because I cooked, and so many more. Those are the small things that I should be focusing on. More importantly, as I look around my home at this moment I notice my coat is on the floor instead of on the hanger, I have a pile on the stairs that needs to be picked up but am too tired (or lazy) to carry upstairs, and yet I have never heard him complain about me leaving my things around. But, every night, my husband thanks me for dinner and every night he kisses me good night. Small things.
Our lives have been so busy lately that we just noticed Valentine’s Day is coming up. It’s a holiday where love is shown in some grand gesture, whether it be a dozen red roses, or a fancy gold necklace. I felt the pressure, as it is Monday and I have no idea what to get him. As I contemplated this, it occurred to me we both show each other ways we appreciate each other every day. So this year, we agreed to not get each other anything. For the record, I am not knocking anyone who wants to celebrate in a grand way. I’m a super romantic and I think that’s great. I just am learning as life gets busy and you add children to the mix that the small and simple things for me are so much more important. This year I will make dinner at home instead of going out, because cooking is a way I show love to my husband and my family. Husband will clean up after because that’s how he shows his love for me. Together we will put our daughter to bed, read her stories and sing her songs because that’s how we show our love for her. Lastly, we will say our family prayers because that’s how we show our love and appreciation for our Heavenly Father.
My challenge for you this week is to try and look past the socks, and focus on the small things our loved ones do for us. Think about
Find something that works for you and do it! I don’t know about you, but when I get older and I look back at my marriage, I would rather see one full of gratitude, and kindness and not resentment. I think about the life of Christ, and how he was the ultimate example of love. No matter how badly he was treated he showed love, compassion, forgiveness and kindness. In our marriage, God is our foundation and the gratitude and kindness are our building blocks to a greater marriage. I hope to be a little more Christ-like in my marriage and more about building blocks and less about hiding socks!
Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website, Latter-day Mom!