This last weekend my sister was visiting with her new husband. They were planning their wedding reception which is coming up on the 12th of April. Saturday night, my new brother invited two of his good friends to come over. When they arrived, they demanded details on his whirlwind courtship with my sister. After three hours (because of so many interruptions)they had only gotten to the point in their story where they were holding hands (which occurred before the first and only date they had before getting married). We had to set up another game night to finish the story.

Mormon DatingHowever, at one point in the narration of their courtship, one of his friends made the comment that listening to them it sounded like their courtship was as slow as molasses, which we all knew was anything but the case.

To this, my sister and her husband explained that their courtship wasn’t slow, or rushed, but went naturally as God planned it. For as anyone who has seen my sister and her husband together can attest, they were clearly brought together by the hand of the Lord. They are perfect for each other. Where I have been to many weddings, this is the first time I have seen such a union of souls.

Many people have had problems with the shortness of my sister’s engagement. Their first date was only days before they got engaged, and just under a week before they were sealed together in the Mt. Timpanogos Temple. What most people didn’t know was that in the weeks before their first date they spent probably a hundred hours talking as they walked to and from school, church, firesides, and as they just sat in my sister’s living room with their friends.

In an article entitles, Making Dating Smooth Sailing, which was adapted from a Brigham Young University–Idaho devotional address given on 18 November 2003, Sister Susan W. Tanner Young Woman’s General President said the following,

“One of the ways to develop a strong, loving relationship is with sound communication. Communication is the way a good relationship begins and also endures. My unmarried children ask me constantly how it is that anyone ever gets together. It seems like such a mysterious puzzle. I know that everyone’s falling-in-love story is different. But there seems to be at least one commonality among most stories. This is a spontaneity in conversation. So many couples say things like, ‘We just talked and talked; I lost track of time when we were talking; it was so comfortable to talk; we share the same sense of humor; we loved talking about our similar interests and values.’…

I’ve heard it said that “love is a long conversation.” I believe it. In fact I often joke with our children that if I ever run out of things to say to Dad, then the marriage will be over. I’m pretty safe saying that, because we love to talk to one another about everything.

This communication that is so fun in a friendship is also essential as you really get to know someone’s deeper self. A relationship may never develop into a courtship because it can’t get beyond inch-deep generalities.” Making Dating Smooth Sailing, New Era October 2004, Susan W. Tanner

With this sort of deep conversation they had often engaged in, my sister and her husband had formed a deep and lasting friendship long before they ever had their first date. Friendship came first, but courtship did follow. Because they were both worthy and prepared, when they each prayed to the Lord for confirmation about marriage their answers came sooner then most.

When they had their answer, they did not delay acting upon it. This, I believe to be most wise. When we do not act right away according to the revelations we have received, then sometimes we miss the opportunity to do so, and often we begin to doubt the revelation we received. I am so happy my sister and new brother followed the promptings of the spirit in coming together. I see how happy they are because of it.

Now for some friendship and courtship may take longer than others. This is fine. The important thing is to involve the Lord from the first. Follow the promptings of the spirit in how you approach your relationship, and in how you progress your relationship. And when you get your confirmation/direction from the Lord, do not delay upon action.

About Julia G

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