After socialization, the most frequent question I am asked is “how do you get a break?” Related questions ask about summer vacation or spring break or other school holidays. Each family is different, but this is what works for our family.
Homeschool holidays
My husband is a teacher, so school holidays mean we have Dad around! We tend to relax media rules, stay up a little later, and spend more time with friends. We don’t stop learning. How and why would we do that? There would be uproar if I took a break from reading Guardians of Ga’Hoole, the current read aloud. My son just reminded me that even if we go camping this week we can take the book.
Should we take a break from writing? My children have self-imposed deadlines which I don’t feel inclined to talk them out of. From math? Good luck getting away from math – I still have shopping to do, my children are helping me double recipes and counting things and sorting. My teen is doing her math because of her self-imposed goals.
Science…how does one get away from science? Stop breathing? Should we not notice that for once the little seeds my 3 year old brought home from church are actually growing! Should I stop reading the books I’m reading? Or stop sharing what I’m interested in? Should we stop having family devotional? How about all of those daily conversations that are full of learning?
Learning for us is life. It is constant. If we are breathing, we are learning. School vacations, even for public school children, are not a break from learning, they are merely a break from school.
Vacations
Summer vacation has never made sense to me. Two and a half months without learning…how does that work out for young children? They tend to forget what they were studying, and as a result spend a lot of time in the fall reviewing. Most moms I know don’t really feel summer vacation is a break, they schedule their lives and still hear a lot of, “I’m bored!” Why do that? When learning is fun, as it should be for young children, why would you stop? They wouldn’t let you! When learning is a desire, as it can be for older children and ourselves, we make time for it no matter what else is happening.
I have found vacations to be great learning opportunities. Travelling is full of geography, science, and history. Car time is full of discussions, family stories, and reading.
When Mom Wants a Break
When Mom wants a break – ahhh. This is different. In my experience when I am tired of homeschooling or tired of mothering, I am generally just tired! Sleep solves a multitude of problems. The flexibility of the homeschool schedule allows for breaks and changes and naps. I have hired babysitters to come to my home so I could sleep (I had newborn twins and was desperate!) My husband has taken over and I’ve gone to bed early. Sleep solves a lot of problems for me.
After sleep, I need to evaluate. Are we overextended? Are there activities we have gotten ourselves into that are good…but not worth doing at this time? Learning to say no and pull back is a gift to ourselves and our children. Children can become stressed and miss out on exploration and creativity when they are overscheduled.
Diet and exercise matter to me. When I am eating well and exercising, I have more energy for my children, my husband, and myself.
Perhaps flexibility and ingenuity are needed…should dad rotate the laundry every night? Can he mentor one of the children? How about a tutor? Can children take over cooking or laundry to some extent? Isn’t that also education? Is soccer really a necessity? Are some church activities not helping our family? Think outside the box and come up with a workable family structure.
Time Away
Mom does need time to be a person. This may be limited by the needs of the family. It should be considered a necessity. If I am not studying and learning and doing things I love, how can I inspire or teach my children? Maybe it’s a book club, lunch with friends, classes, a hobby, or something else unique to you.
When Mom Needs a Break
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What about illness, having a baby, life? Life is learning. Is it more important to learn math than how to care for a baby? How about patience when caring for sick people? How about dropping everything to go be with Grandma in her last few weeks? We value learning to love. We don’t take summer and other school holidays, so these life lessons tend to just fit in to our learning year. I know from my own life growing up, that when life is happening at home, I did not learn much at school anyway!
If mom needs a longer break and the children need more…ingenuity is needed. Tutors, grandparents, friends, community classes, online classes, college students…the possibilities are endless.
When we associate learning with life instead of school, it shifts our entire attitude. It changes how and why we take breaks. It changes what it means to vacation. It changes sick days. Every situation is an opportunity to learn!
Britt grew up in a family of six brothers and one sister and gained a bonus sister later. She camped in the High Sierras, canoed down the Colorado, and played volleyball at Brigham Young University. She then served a mission to South Africa.
With all of her time in the gym and the mountains and South Africa, she was totally prepared to become the mother of 2 sons and soon to be 9 daughters. By totally prepared she means willing to love them and muddle through everything else in a partially sleepless state. She is mostly successful at figuring out how to keep the baby clothed, or at least diapered, though her current toddler is challenging this skill.
She feels children naturally love to learn and didn’t want to disrupt childhood curiosity with worksheets and school bells. She loves to play in the dirt, read books, go on adventures, watch her children discover new things, and mentor her children. Her oldest child is currently at a community college and her oldest son is going to high school at a public school. She loves to follow her children in their unique paths and interests.
She loves to write because, unlike the laundry and the dishes, writing stays done. Whenever someone asks her how she does it all she wonders what in the world they think she’s doing.
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Britt, I love your writing, and I love knowing more about your family and life. Thanks for sharing your gifts.
Thanks Sarah! I think about you more often than you could ever know. I still feel grateful that I had you when we were recovering from the trauma births 6 years ago.