I remember thinking the day I found my baby in his crib, dead from SIDS, “This can’t be happening to me.”
As I blurred through many motions, from calling 911 to letting in the paramedics to going to the hospital behind the ambulance, I continued to think, “This can’t be happening to me.”
When we walked through the doors of the emergency room at the hospital, I continued to hope against hope that my little baby son would revive. God is a God of miracles, after all – right?
I listened patiently while both the nurse and the hospital social worker explained the doctors were serving my son as best they could. I trusted there was going to be a happy ending to this story.
There wasn’t.
Well, then again, it depends on whose perspective you trust. If I look to the Cornerstone of my faith, my perspective shifts into something much more glorious than my mortal mind can completely comprehend.
First of all, Jesus Christ came to redeem all of us – any and all who would hearken to Him and who would take His name upon us. In fact, even for those who do not believe in Him, even those individuals will receive a glorious gift of immortality.
THIS is the perspective that adjusts my vision of losing my 11-week-old son due to the awful vice of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome). It is the understanding that all will be resurrected that sustains me. It is the knowledge I’ve been given through the restored gospel of Jesus Christ, that families are meant to be together for eternity.
When one listens to the sweet (albeit quiet) voice of the Spirit of the Lord, one will feel a calming peace testifying to these truths. I know, because I’ve been there, having all of this perspective tested.
From the day before my son’s death till several days after, the warmth of the spirit of God intensified within me until my body felt warmer than I could explain. Then for several days after my little guy’s death, a consistent refrain continued to play itself over and over again in my mind: “This was not a mistake.”
I knew that this voice or impression did NOT come from my own mind – for I personally felt very much that this was all a mistake. For after all, my whole response had been, “This cannot be happening to me.”
But in answer to every time that feeling overwhelmed me, a soothing voice would come, teaching me a simple truth: “This was not a mistake.”
In other words, God Himself was reaching down into my small-hearted ways and expanding my awareness that there was a larger purpose at work than I could understand.
This is why the cornerstone of my faith is based on Jesus Christ. He and His Father, even God Himself, have reached into my life and have helped me in even my most ripped-up, heart-torn moments.
As a Mormon, I am well aware that there are those who ridicule my faith. There are even those who believe Mormons are anything but Christian. I’m not sure why they believe this, but I witness with all my heart that I know that Jesus is the Christ. He is my Christ; He is my Savior in very literal ways. Without Him steadying me during the most difficult times in my life, I would not be still standing now.
A “cornerstone” is something upon which the entire building relies upon. That is Jesus Christ for me.
[For further reading about Cornerstones of Faith, this article, “The Cornerstones of Our Faith,” is an excellent one. And it is given by our recently deceased, dearly beloved prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley.]
