For as long as I can remember, the institution of marriage has been dissected and scrutinized by the media and other groups saying, in essence, that being married isn’t that big a deal. Granted, marriage is a work in progress and the longer married couples stick together, the better it is, especially for their children. But let’s just face the facts: marriage leads to better outcomes, as it does take some effort on both sides.
During a Brigham Young University speech, Gordon B. Hinkley, who was then an apostle for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, reminded us through the words of newspaper columnist Jenkin Lloyd Jones the realities of marriage:
“Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed. The fact is that most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just ordinary people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. . .” (God Shall Give unto You Knowledge by His Holy…, Gordon B. Hinckley, September 25, 1973).
Marriage is sticking it out when your patience has reached its limit. Marriage is staying together and trying harder. So, when a series of studies applaud the fact that people should stay married, I pay attention.
From Brookings Research Institute comes the Social Genome Project. This “project is a data-rich model using the best research on what determines success in each stage of the lifecycle.”
http://www.brookings.edu/about/centers/ccf/social-genome-project
In essence, children in all ages, walks of life and areas of living were studied for the success in their life, depending upon who their parents were. The results of these studies might surprise many who think it’s not really necessary to be married to be successful in raising their own children. Through the Social Genome Project Life Cycle Model, it has been reported that children are more successful with married parents at home. They do better at school and are more likely to go to college with married parents. They are more likely to go on to form more stable marriages themselves and to be more successful financially. This doesn’t mean those with single parents will never do those things but the chances are much higher if a child is raised with two parents who stay married.
For example, the study shows two out of three adolescent-aged children who graduate high school with a GPA of at least 2.5 without becoming a parent themselves or becoming active in criminal activity are raised by parents who are still married. Forty-two percent of those adolescents with mothers married for some of the time but not all of their childhood become successful in finishing high school without criminal records or out of wedlock children and only 28% of those raised by never-married mothers have those same successes. This is a very sad statistic.
There are other findings as well. Children as early as 5 years old, all the way to adult children, do 10 to 20 percent better in all aspects of life when both parents are married.
Building Strong Families
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Kimberly Howard and Richard Reeves from Brookings say this: “If the benefits of marriage for children can be explained by other observable characteristics of the family, and especially money or parenting behavior, then policy may be more successful if focused on those pathways.” Those “pathways” are parents who stay together through thick and thin.
When parents stay married and work together to raise their children, there is a better chance for success of their children than if they break up. This might motivate parents to try a little harder or to be a little more forgiving. Marriage is not all bliss but there is comfort in a devoted partner. With those devoted parents, children will have a more stable life and their success rate for life is much higher. Truly a better outcome for children.
Two links to marriage studies: http://www.aei-ideas.org/2014/09/why-do-the-kids-of-married-parents-do-better/
Valerie Steimle has been writing as a family advocate for over 25 years. As a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she promotes Christian living in her writings and is the mother of nine children and grandmother to twelve. Mrs. Steimle authored six books and is a contributing writer to several online websites. To her, time is the most precious commodity we have and knows we should spend it wisely.
To read more of Valerie's work, visit her at her website, The Blessings of Family Life.
I have learned more from my children about unconditional love, patience and courage than I ever taught them.
I have learned more about unconditional love, patience and courage from my children than I ever taught them.