On one night a week, the youth of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints (LDS Church) get together for fun activities and lessons. I have been participating in this part of my nine children’s lives for over 20 years. I have watched our youth as they participate in Scouts, sports, games, lessons and musical performances. It is amazing what they can accomplish. I’ve also been witness to the behavior of many youth and how they treat their own parents, teachers, and peers. It’s been quite an eye opening education.
I’ve known parents who just do so much for their children it’s almost debilitating. There are also parents who let their children walk all over them and boss them incessantly. Included in the group are those parents who just let their children do as they please. How do we come to some happy medium?
Raising children is a constant balancing act. On the one hand, we need to be the parent to guide our posterity to make good choices in their life but on the other hand we want to have fun together.
Drawing some thought from The Family: A Proclamation to the World its helpful to know: “Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities.” As parents we know we should teach our children the principles of the gospel, but how do we help our children understand the importance of respect?
How do we teach our children to be respectful of parents’ leadership as well as those other leaders around us? Teachers at school, leaders at church and even neighbors at home should be given the respect they deserve. There has been a shift in society as children seem to forget to be respectful.
Terrance D. Olson sheds some light on this subject in an Ensign Magazine article Cultivating Respect: “Underlying principles of respect that were once commonplace in society have increasingly given way to unkind behavior. To help our children and youth set aside the many negative examples that bombard them, we must first understand respect, reasons we sometimes act disrespectfully, gospel principles that apply, and ways we can be better teachers and exemplars of respect.”
I have seen this unkind behavior in youth pointed towards their own parents. I have worked as a substitute teacher for several months and know firsthand how little respect there is in the classroom. This is a growing challenge for many parents. Here is what Terrance D. Olson says: “There are at least two definitions of respect. The first refers to being polite or civil to those we meet or with whom we interact….Another meaning, however, refers to our feelings toward those who merit respect through honorable living.” Honorable living. Through example and encouraging words our children need reinforcement in honorable living. Teaching them to be caring and sympathetic towards others helps them to understand the true nature of a Christ-like life and respect for others. Gossiping, unkind behavior and other bad habits should be eliminated as much as possible.
LDS Church leader Joseph F. Smith said it well: “Teach your children to respect their neighbors. Teach your children to respect their bishops and the teachers that come to their homes to teach them. Teach your children to respect old age, gray hairs, and feeble frames. Teach them to venerate and to hold in honorable remembrance their parents, and to help all those who are helpless and needy. … Teach your children that when they go to school they should honor their teachers in that which is true and honest, in that which is manly and womanly, and worthwhile. … Teach your children to honor the law of God and the law of the state and the law of our country. Teach them to respect and hold in honor those who are chosen by the people to stand at their head and execute justice and administer the law. Teach them to be loyal to their country, loyal to righteousness and uprightness and honor, and thereby they will grow up to be
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men and women choice above all the men and women of the world.” (President Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. (1939), 293.) also)
Our modern society creeps closer and closer to unhappy, disrespectful posterity. Parents can set the example of respect and teach children to respect others throughout their whole life. This is an ongoing process which parents must balance between having a fun time and adhering to strict obedience. A constant balancing act.
Valerie Steimle has been writing as a family advocate for over 25 years. As a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she promotes Christian living in her writings and is the mother of nine children and grandmother to twelve. Mrs. Steimle authored six books and is a contributing writer to several online websites. To her, time is the most precious commodity we have and knows we should spend it wisely.
To read more of Valerie's work, visit her at her website, The Blessings of Family Life.
