Even with a map, I’m lost if I don’t know where I want to end up.  Since I’m “directionally challenged,” I can sometimes end up going around in circles even with a GPS.

I was starting a new activity recently and realized that if I don’t know how much time I have or how long what I want to do will take, it is virtually impossible to know if I have enough time for that activity.  I couldn’t plan.  Sometimes we have far too many variables.

child-659283_640In Flourish, by Martin E. P. Seligman, achievement is defined as skill multiplied by effort.  It isn’t just movement, distance, or motion for motion’s sake.  It must be “motion toward a specific goal or outcome…a vector.”  In other words, we have to make a decision and focus.  We need a constant to aim and to achieve.

Erich Fromm described one woman missing this type of anchor and destination in her life, “This woman is completely without a sense that she is, that she is a person on her own, that she could do something, that she could live.  She just flounders around completely.  . . . because she doesn’t know anything about living.  She does not feel anything she can do with her life, she is completely blind to what life could mean.  She has to remain frightened as long as she has no vision…”

How can we prevent this?

“Tools of the mind” teaches very young children essential skills needed to be high achievers later in life.  Their website, www.toolsofthemind.org offers tips for parents who want their children to develop life-long habits that lead to success.

One example suggests, “So rather than letting a child click the remote control with no apparent viewing goal  (which actually promotes unregulated behavior), parents can help their children plan viewing times.”

portrait-317041_640It seems that even at a very young age, self-regulation, self-discipline and achievement begin with developing habits of goal directed action. Before we can take action, we have to know our “vector,” what it is we want to achieve, so we can then determine how to get there.  In other words, achievement starts with a vision.

Wouldn’t it be nice to avoid symbolically wandering in the wilderness for 40 years?

The Bible cautions: “Where there is no vision, the people perish.”  –Proverbs 29:18

How then, do we determine our ultimate, most desirable destination?

Seligman lists the requirements, “If we want to flourish and if we want to have well-being, we must indeed minimize our misery; but in addition, we must have positive emotion, meaning, accomplishment, and positive relationships.”

When I feel a little lost, I like to ask myself,

What do I want?

What would success look like?

Stephen Covey suggests, “begin with the end in mind.”

We don’t have to wait for a near-death experience to give it a little thought.

To read all of DarEll's articles, click on the picture.

To read all of DarEll’s articles, click on the picture.

Our constant destinations over a lifetime become the lighthouses that can guide us during life’s unpredictable storms.

May you determine clearly what you are aiming for,

turn on your  light,

and see.


DarEll S. Hoskisson

About DarEll Hoskisson
DarEll S. Hoskisson loves to do hard things, but not too hard. She shares her own challenges, goals and experiences as she guides you into a realistic path of self-reflection and self-improvement. She shares tips on how to find, know and trust yourself so you can decide if other’s suggestions are right for you. DarEll has the world a little upside down—where work is play and play is work. She actually thinks other people’s problems are fun to try to solve and lights up with a personal challenge. She loves people, harmony, and excellence. She also loves useful things like tools and ideas that make work faster, easier and more fun. DarEll married in 1993 and graduated from BYU (1995) with a bachelor’s degree in English and Secondary Education. Since then she was adopted by 5 children and has worked with many non-profits. She is currently a certified personal trainer and group fitness instructor—leading pilates and yoga at her local YMCA. DarEll lives in Florida where she enjoys her family, nature, her work, and encouraging people to live well. She periodically posts her poems, what she is learning, and service opportunities on her personal blogs: https://personalabridgements.wordpress.com and https://darellhoskisson.wordpress.com

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