Sometimes I make grilled cheese for dinner, use paper plates, and am just glad we’re all alive for one more day.  Other times I have to hold myself back because over training killed my knees, over scrubbing ruined the shirt worse than the stain, and trying too hard for too long just leads to exhaustion.  At General Conference recently, I heard Kevin W. Pearson say, “average is the enemy of excellence.”  My husband immediately picked up on it and repeated it to me.  He is tired of the apparent lack of excellence in our home, especially in our children’s bedrooms.  I just wondered,

Is average the enemy of excellence?

I think it most certainly is and it is not.

Excellence stands out like a spike of amazing when charted on a graph.  Human accomplishment, especially in sports and even in business, shines out as extraordinary for a very few individuals and teams.  There is often a huge difference between first and second place both in personal investment and rewards.  There is no bell curve here.

My husband loves excellence, and he shows it in everything he does.  He is detail oriented and helps our children see how to hold the wash rag just so, so that you can use both hands and get the whole counter washed quickly.  He teaches them to sweep the edges first.  He models it done well.

When I’m super bored with the same old cooking and eating routine, trying a new recipe, or making a harder, more beautiful dinner revitalizes an old chore.  Truly there is a gift to the giver in a job well done.  Excellence speaks for itself.

Accepting a mediocre or average job does rob us of all that striving for excellence would bring.  We’d miss out on experience, skills, and especially the results that only come with excellent work. Personal pride motivates consistently producing quality work.

But if excellence means perfectionism.  If it means having to do every action with excellence, what then?  I often feel the stress of rising expectations that float right up to meet a job done better than expected.  Pretty soon those expectations become a heavy load indeed.  I wondered,

What is the cost of only excellent?

I can’t be a beginner if everything I do has to be excellent.

I can’t do anything but clean my home again and again if it all has to be excellent all the time.

I can’t help but compare myself to others if I want to know what excellent is.

I can’t let children be children or forgive myself for little mistakes.

Yesterday I saw a beautiful little girl in the bench seat of a grocery basket bawling her eyes out.  She was in a matching turquoise outfit with cute, curly brown pigtails.  Her pained eyes and wrinkled forehead reached out to me for sympathy because her mother was ignoring her.  I looked at this girl and instead of feeling sorry for her, I wanted to laugh.  She was sitting there holding a large bag of skittles that were open, and it was nearly full.  I looked on the floor.  Sure enough, she had dropped two.

Studies show that people who are satisfied with things that are good enough are happier than those that are always trying to make things better.  Like this little girl, we all tend to become perfectionistic in the name of excellence.  But isn’t that silly?  We can’t see the awesome fruits of our labor that are right in our hand, or the blessing of the wealth, clothing and love we do have, if we are always in pursuit of those last two skittles that would make it meet our high standards of excellence.

I figuratively stand there crying with a bag full of skittles far too often.

I refuse to knowingly continue.

Embracing At Least Some “Average” for an Excellent Life

I embrace “average” in areas that don’t really matter and champion the attitude that allows me to be a beginner, grateful, and frankly not so silly.  Sometimes good enough is really good enough.

I want to have a home that is cleaned to an “average” standard.  Try to sell your home and you will learn the curse of chronic excellence.  We tried to keep it clean enough to show to potential buyers for weeks and the museum quality was so pristine we couldn’t live or do almost anything at all.

Kevin W. Pearson went on to say,

“An average commitment will prevent you from enduring to the end.”

I wholeheartedly agree with that.  We can’t quit cleaning our home or caring for and about our health and our loved ones.  We can’t quit overcoming weaknesses, or pursuing our dreams and potential.  It is because I can’t quit that I can’t keep raising the perfectionistic bar on myself in every area at once, always reaching for just one more skittle to improve things.  Expecting perfection just doesn’t help me endure or focus on what really matters.

We can’t have an average commitment if we want to have an excellent life.

May you find your happy ratio of average in a life of excellence.

Namaste,

DarEll S. Hoskisson