For The Strength Of…Everyone

Hypocrisy! That’s what I call it, hypocrisy!  We teach our children from the “For The Strength of Youth” pamphlet (a set of standards to follow for our youth) but when we, as adults, become single ourselves many times we completely ignore what we teach our own children and do as we please. As adults we think we are above what we require of our children.  Some single adults think we don’t have to follow the same rules, but that is not true.

Some single parents have taken a nose dive in moral integrity. Not that we should cast the first stone but as a parent we should set a good example for our children. Sometimes the temptation is just too much after having sexual relations with a spouse for so many years and they fall short of keeping the law of chastity.  Some let their guard down so as to let immorality into their lives even though they were worthy temple attendees when they were married.  (Being “temple worthy” means we follow a standard of the commandments of God)   Some single parents marry too soon after the loss of a spouse without some kind of spiritual confirmation because they were hurting so much, they wanted to fill a need.  Other single parents throw care to the wind and end up in compromising circumstances which they regret later.

It is difficult to be single after being married for so long. I have experienced this myself but we must be strong and stick to what the Lord has taught us about keeping ourselves worthy. It is the only way to have peace of mind and know the will of our Father in Heaven.

If you have never read the “For Strength Of Youth” pamphlet published by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, find one and read it. Not only read it but learn to follow it. It’s a great standard for life.

The following is a review of what is most important in a single adult’s life from The Strength of Youth pamphlet. It’s kind of like “For the Strength of Single Adults.”

Agency and Accountability:

One of the first things our children learn from their church leaders is that they are accountable for their actions.  They have their agency but the choices they make are their own.  As the youth of this the LDS Church are accountable and have free agency, so are we as single adults. We are free to choose for ourselves but also know that we are accountable for our choices. This might seem like a simple a concept for our “old” adult minds but you would be surprised how many adults forget about this great principal of the gospel when they become single.

Gratitude:                                                                                                                                  

Nothing says ungrateful more than when someone who lives a gospel oriented life, doesn’t appreciate it.  As Americans, it is so easy to get sucked into thinking that we are miserable if we don’t have all the material possessions our neighbors and friends have. We compare ourselves with other people who seem to be in a “better” situation but when we can see for ourselves how blessed we are in the life we are living, we are happier and can be at peace.

Dress and Appearance:

Just like it says in the Strength of Youth Pamphlet, our body is God’s sacred creation. We must remember we are under the same obligation as the youth to dress appropriately; even more so if we have gone through the temple. (members with temple garments) We know what we have learned in the temple. When we get to the point that we want to attract a potential mate with the way we dress, (tight fitting clothes, low necklines and high skirts) we are making a big mistake. We are adults and must remember the appropriate dress for a covenant people.  Our bodies are temples unto the Lord and we should treat them as such; no pulling up garments to wear a shorter dress, no tucking in sleeves to wear a sleeveless blouse.  We have to dress as we have covenanted, and immodest clothing is not it.

Entertainment and the Media:

This is a delicate topic among adults.  We think if we are over 18, we can watch any “R” rated movie, read any book or magazine or look at any website on the internet without repercussions.  We think we don’t have anyone to answer to, but we do.  We have our temple recommends to think about.  If we have children at home with us, we have to set the example for them.  If they shouldn’t be watching “R” rated stuff, then we shouldn’t be watching it either.  Some of the “PG-13” stuff is almost as bad as we know how the rest of the world will push the envelope on what is included in “R” and “PG-13” rated entertainment.  Putting garbage into our heads is still garbage no matter what the rating.  We need to choose wisely what we watch.  Is it really the end of the world if we don’t watch something everybody else was watching?  Is it that terrible a thing to skip a big hit with great reviews when you know inappropriate material is being shown on the screen?  It’s all what you consider important in life.  We all have to make that decision, but life is a lot less complicated when we make the decision to do without and find other sources of entertainment more appropriate for the Lord’s people.

Dating:

Going on a date is one of the best ways to get to know someone and as single adults when we date each other, we should remember what we taught our children.  We don’t have to organize group dates but giving ourselves a curfew helps to keep us on the straight and narrow.  After midnight, is the time when we can do the most harm to ourselves, especially when we are alone with our date. To set the example for our children, we should be sensitive to this time at night.    They worry as much as we do when we don’t come home when we are supposed to and they will hold you to what you say you are going to do.  Just as you hold them to what they say they are going to do.

Sexual Purity:

This particular topic is the most sensitive and probably the hardest task to accomplish after being married.  Let us remember what the Lord has said about keeping yourself chaste: “The Lord delights in the chastity of women.  And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus said the Lord of Hosts”. Jacob 2:28

The Lord wants us to remember that which is most precious to women.  We have physical wants, especially after we are left alone from divorce or death of a spouse, but we must remember what the Lord expects of us and not our physical desires.

Repentance:

Placing the subject of repentance right after sexual purity was done on purpose.  We can repent of any sins we commit and become clean. The Savior suffered for us to become clean.  We can come back a member in good standing after we are forgiven. It has happened many times to many members, single or not.   We can have the comfort of knowing we are a part of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints if we humble ourselves and talk to our priesthood leaders.  We might have to forge ahead as we try to make our way back, but we must do it.  I have known several single adult members who lost their membership and did not have the support of their priesthood leaders because of their situation.  They fell through the cracks or some misunderstanding caused them to be on their own.  Eventually they somehow found the strength to make it back to the fold.  You should never feel that the road back to the Gospel of Jesus Christ is unattainable.  There are many people who can help you. There is no time you should ever feel that Heavenly Father does not want you to return to church.  Take the time to sit in Sacrament meeting and feel the Spirit and know that God loves you. Work towards your membership and full blessings of the temple and you will feel so much joy in your life.

These are great words of wisdom in such a time as this. Reading through the For the Strength of Youth pamphlet can really help the youth of the church and their single parents. The message is clear for everyone: set the example for your children and take the high road.  Live a righteous life for your own sake.  Keep your life clean as Heavenly Father would want you to do. This will strengthen your own family and your spirit will be much happier.