As we traveled in the car one day my 7 year old son asked me, “Mom, are there any guys who used to be bad guys, but then wanted to be good guys, and then became prophets?” Not exactly your average, everyday question.
I frantically searched my brain and came up with one name: Alma.
The Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ, relates the story of a man named Alma the Younger (his father was also named Alma). In his youth he was wicked, choosing evil over good, and persuaded many to turn their backs on the Lord’s Church. His father prayed night and day for something to happen that would cause a change of heart in his son. His prayers were answered.
An angel appeared before him and his friends, who just happened to be the king’s sons. They were immediately called to repentance, and Alma was a new man (Please read Mosiah 27 for a full account). He became a righteous prophet for the Lord’s Church.
Alma had three grown sons, who had all worked with him in ministering to the people. There comes a point when Alma decides it’s time to counsel with his boys, and so he takes them aside one by one to talk.
First is Helaman. Alma begins by bearing his testimony and sharing with this mighty son his own conversion story. He encourages his son to discover for himself if these things are true, to gain his own testimony. Alma encourages Helaman to keep up with the record of the people, to study the scriptures, and then to act upon those things he’s studied. Last he tells his son to counsel with the Lord, to keep the commandments, and promises that as he does so, his life will be blessed (comprising Alma chapters 36-37).
Alma then takes his second son, Shiblon. Shiblon had been through much in his life because of his work as a missionary. Though we don’t know details, we are told he was persecuted, yet showed great faith and dedicated to the Lord. Alma tells his son he had found great joy in this, his son. He again relates his conversion, and then gently reminds his son to remain on his course of righteousness (Alma chapter 38).
Last, but certainly not least, Alma calls for his son Corianton. In this son he had been given much reason to mourn, for though he started out attempting to accomplish the Lord’s work, he quickly fell into iniquity. Because of this choice an entire people were not given the chance to hear the word of God.
Alma was able to relate to this son in an important way – he could tell his son he knew what would happen if he didn’t change his ways, and he wanted to see his son make a change for good. As he states, “I would not dwell upon your crimes, to harrow up your soul, if it were not for your good. But behold, ye cannot hide your crimes from God; and except ye repent they will stand as a testimony against you at the last day” (Alma 39:7-8).
And so Alma begins to show his son exactly where he needed to start. Though I won’t go into it all now, I will say Corianton did make a change, and he became a very righteous man.
I wanted to post about this today to because as parents and leaders of youth we have been given a very valuable tool in learning how to help, counsel, and encourage our youth.
First, we are to take our children aside one at a time. Often teens, and children, are more likely to talk with an adult if it’s just the two of you. We need to bear our testimony of what we believe and what we know to be true. Those we have been entrusted with to teach in the ways of the Lord rely on our testimony for many years until they are ready to discover their own. When that time comes we need to remind them that finding a testimony comes in many different ways.
Relate your own conversion story to your teen. Let them know where you were, why you were searching for the answers, and how it all happened. Was the confirmation all at once, or did it come over time? Encourage your child to ask others about their own conversion stories.
Remind your teens to study the scriptures, but don’t stop there. Let them know they need to experiment upon the words they read, to see if they are true. Tell them it’s important to pray to the Father for confirmation or dismissal of an idea, so they will not be easily led astray.
Here’s a big one: tell your children when they do something right! I cannot stress this enough. Too often we focus on the things they do wrong. While the wrong choices need to be addressed immediately, we should always offer an extra helping of love right after.
Remember that even the good kid needs to be reminded of the commandments and laws of God.
Don’t forget that with some people you have to be patient, patient, patient, and more patient! They may not get the concept you’re trying to relate the first time. Or the second. Or the fifth. But keep going in your own faith. Let them know you still believe in them and their ability to make the correct choices.
Encourage your teens to pay attention to the clean things in this world. Remind them it’s important to counsel with righteous family members, and to turn to the Lord with all their might, mind and strength when tempted to do something wrong. If they slip up, say it’s okay. They simply need to acknowledge their mistakes, repent, and move on.
Last, but certainly not least, we need to teach them about Christ. The more they know about Him, His ways, and His purposes behind every act, the easier it will become to follow Him.
We have a responsibility to help our children and teens to follow a path that will lead them back to our Heavenly Father, and fortunately that same loving Father has given us some great guides in raising these impressionable, precious spirits.
