There’s a particular scene in the movie MONSTER’S INC. that makes me cringe every time. Boo, a sweet little toddler has accidentally found herself in a world of monsters. The monster who let her in, Sully, spends a large part of the movie trying to get her back home without alerting anyone to his mistake.
The world of monsters powers its’ city through the screams of children. In a training session, Sully is asked to demonstrate why he’s the ‘Top Scarer’ in the company. Boo inadvertently sees Sully doing what he does best. Teeth bared, eyes wide, claws extended, Sully roars at the top of his lungs at the dummy. Boo, hidden right next to the dummy, sees everything. In a moment their relationship changes. What was once a trusted friend is now something to fear.
Why does this affect me so much? Because each time I see it into my mind pops a memory. My daughter, then barely two, had pushed one too many buttons. Away went Mom, and out popped a monster. Perhaps my own teeth were bared, my own eyes grew wide, and from my throat came a roar that frightened her beyond words. For those few seconds, I became a monster.
Jeffrey R. Holland, a leader in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or Mormon Church as it is more commonly known, spoke on this very thing in our April 2007 General Conference. In his talk, “The Tongue of Angels” Holland speaks to mothers, yet I believe his words work for fathers as well.
“How is it that such a lovely voice which by divine nature is so angelic, so close to the veil, so instinctively gentle and inherently kind could ever in a turn be so shrill, so biting, so acrid and untamed? A woman’s words can be more piercing than any dagger ever forged, and they can drive the people they love to retreat beyond a barrier more distant than anyone in the beginning of that exchange could ever have imagined. Sisters, there is no place in that magnificent spirit of your for acerbic or abrasive expression of any kind.”
A popular expression is, “When Mom’s not happy, ain’t nobody happy.” Of course we as parents are granted to have a bad day. We are allowed to wallow in a rotten mood, so long as we do not take it out on our children. This is so very easy to say, not so easy to live. Every time one of my children takes out his/her frustrations on a sibling, I’m quick to point out it’s not okay. Yet my own tongue needs to be bridled when my frustrations come to a boiling point.
These precious children are the sons and daughters of God. We should ever treat them as such, for He has given them to us to take care of. It is an awesome responsibility and privilege. Instead, let the beloved parent remain an angel.
