I stood outside the school doors one day, waiting for my oldest to get out of school. My boys were playing on the nearby playground, and the baby lay tucked tight in her stroller.
It usually took a few minutes after the bell would ring for my oldest to find her way to us, but it was never a problem until one particular day. A group of girls came walking over to the area right outside the door and were met by another group. It was clear from the first filthy words out of their mouths this was not a friendly encounter. In fact, I wanted to cover my baby’s ears, even if she didn’t understand what was being said. I was grateful my boys were playing a little ways off so they couldn’t hear the offensive words.
Even more distressing than the words for me, was the sight of one particular girl right in the middle of the group whose language was among the worst. I knew her. Not only was she a member of our church (the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints – or Mormon Church), she was a member of my daughter’s Primary class (organization for children 3-11).
This young lady didn’t see me until after the fight had ended. I can’t imagine what she saw upon my face: shock, dismay, disgust? I felt them all. Most of all I felt sorrow. It hurt me that this little girl, who at eleven was so close to graduating into the Young Women program (for teen girls age 12-17) where I taught, had chosen to bring such ugliness into her life.
I talked with my daughter about the situation later that night. Turns out this girl had quite a history of dirty language – something I know her family did not condone within the home. She had learned it at school. I asked my daughter if she had ever been tempted to swear. Not only had she been tempted, she admitted to having let a few words slip out.
At this point I decided it was time to talk about ways to keep her language clean. First we discussed why it can be so hard. As parents we don’t realize just how often our children’s ears are affronted with the most unsavory language. The more they hear these words, the more they start to think them. The more they think them, the easier it is for these words to creep up into everyday conversations.
This doesn’t mean those ugly words have to stay there. Just My daughter and I thought up a few ideas of what to do when tempted to swear.
Pray. Praying is a direct communication to our Heavenly Father, and as we learn from the Book of Mormon, another testament of Jesus Christ, “…and no unclean thing can dwell with God” (1 Nephi 10:21). When temptation hits, turn to God and ask for His help in taking the desire to swear away. It doesn’t have to be a prayer where you kneel down in the middle of the playground with arms folded, eyes closed, and head bowed. It can be a silent prayer of the heart.
Think of a hymn or Primary song. In our home music is practically ever-present. My daughter and I talked about two or three different songs to sing when the temptation to swear happens, or when one of her friends does it.
I also suggested she talk with her friends about not wanting to swear and enlisting their help in keeping all language around her clean. When friends rally around in support of whatever goal you set, it makes accomplishing it much easier. It also encourages them to stand strong in the face of temptation.
I am amazed with my children as they come home from school day after day with a smile on their faces. After that brief encounter outside the school doors it took me days to recover from the darkness that had settled over me. Yet my children meet the onslaught of nasty words head on. They don’t come out unscathed, but they learn to be stronger than the temptation.
