Choose the Lord’s Way

Does the Lord care about the individual? I see how the Lord moves people and uses their experiences and strengths to bless others’ lives. These individuals are making a tremendous impact in the world around them.

 

But what about regular people?

 

Like me.

 

What about those of us who wonder if we’re just a place-holder on a genealogy chart? Does the Lord care about the details of my life? I see Him everywhere around me and the blessings I am surrounded by humble me. Yet, I wonder—is there a plan for me?

 

I have made tremendous changes in my own life because of the gospel. As a result, my life is very, very blessed. I clearly see the consequences of choosing to live gospel principles versus choosing another way.

 

When trials cause me to question, the end result is always the same: choose the Lord’s way. Why? Because the Lord’s way is the only path I know to peace. On my own, I struggle, I flounder, and I am so very, very flawed. Yet, when I set my selfish wants and desires to the side and focus on reading scriptures, praying, and serving … that is when peace comes.

 

I’ve chosen to live my life this way. When I struggled as a young, inexperienced mother, one trying to break cycles of abuse, I chose to parent in the Lord’s way. I prayed, fasted, and asked advice of other mothers. More than one occasion found me locked in my room, on my knees, desperately crying for guidance.

 

Truly miraculous and weird direction answered my prayers. On one occasion, I was sitting on the side of my three-year-old daughter’s bed as she cried and thrashed around. I tried speaking calmly to her, but she would not calm down. The Spirit impressed me to hug her and gently lay on top of her—literally covering her body with my own and weighing her down with my body.

 

How weird is that?!?

 

But doing this immediately calmed her. It was several years later we learned that she struggled with sensory integration disorder and the use of heavy weighted blankets actually help calm her nervous system and her anxiety. I, of myself, did not know anything about this; however, a loving Father in Heaven did.

 

I can give example after example of how Heavenly Father took a woman, raised in a violent, raging home and taught me to raise my children with love, compassion, and peace. This reason alone is enough to cause me to give the Lord my all, even when I do not always understand the reasons why He is asking me to go through a particular trial.

 

But, there are times, like recently, when I struggle to know if the Lord has a purpose for me. I want so much to make a positive difference in the world! But … I am … just me.

 

This sorrow has been weighing my heart down these last few weeks and my missionary sensed it. When I shared my struggles with him, I realized that our roles have changed.

 

No longer am I the source of all answers within our relationship. Now, I can share my struggles with my son as a friend. I know he has learned for himself of God’s love and how God works in our lives. I can trust that as I share a struggle, my son’s faith won’t falter.

 

My missionary’s response caused me to weep tears of humble gratitude. He gently reminded me that I have impacted his life.

 

 

And he has chosen to serve a mission, through which, he has blessed others’ lives.

 

 

He knows of at least one young man he has helped that will be serving a mission, through which, he will bless others’ lives.

 

As I read my son’s tender words, I was filled with a sense of grateful awe that this is how my son sees me: as someone he admires and loves.

 

I miss the little boy who toddled by my side and looked to me as the source of all wisdom … and food! But I am so very, very grateful for the man of God who can walk by my side in this life as my son and my friend.