When was the last time, if married, that you went on a date? If it took more than three seconds to answer that question, you must be like me.
Time blows by faster than we can turn, doesn’t it? Before we know it, it’s the weekend. And then before we can check, it’s already Monday. I’ve heard many say that it feels like time is being compressed.
Regardless of why life is passing at such a dizzying date, we must ensure that those who matter most are not left like dismal leaves, slowly floating behind us, ever more forgotten and soon decaying.
When each of us married so long ago (or perhaps just a few years back), the moment for most felt strong and sure, much like the hefty Redwoods in the California forests. We were sure that our future stretched before us much as those mighty Sequoia trees stretch high – tall, regal, and dependably strong.
But just as the mighty Sequoia giants have begun to fall before eager loggers and developers, our marriages also are threatened by many outside forces. It is time to defend that which we began so long ago. It is time for the mighty weekly date!
Now before you fall over laughing, saying, “Me . . . and him? On a date?” (or “Me and her. . .” depending), just wait. Going out on that first date after oh-so-long really is possible.
For some of you spectacular types, you’ve already fortified the Sequoia of your marriage – you’ve been going out on weekly dates for years. But for those of us now trying to catch up, we might just want to take it slowly. But take it we will!
Thus, here are a few suggestions to rally the troupes to strengthen your own marriage “tree.”
1. If you have children, help them to understand that you love your spouse and that someday when they move on to their own spouses, you want to be best friends with yours!
2. If you feel your spouse will fall over laughing at the suggestion of dating (or even worse, say nothing at all), spend some time brainstorming privately before talking to him or her. Take a tally of activities you’ve noticed he or she is interested in.
Have they participated in a book club recently? If so, going to a book store for your first oh-its-been-so-long date can be an easy way to ease in to this new territory.
Does he like to go fishing with his buddies? Suggest resistance (and you’ll be fortifying your marriage with love, thoughtfulness, and self-sacrifice . . . not bad for a really good start!).
3. Be prepared to be surprised. They may really want to spend private time with you too and just didn’t know how to say it.
Whatever your approach, don’t let another day go without strengthening your marriage. Don’t let those you most love drift behind you like dying leaves. As for the Sequoia forests, individuals over time have come forward to preserve at least some of them. Let us do the same for our marriages by making sure we utilize that wonderful conservation tool – the mighty weekly date!
