What do we do when our children do not want to work around the home? Is this a problem or is it not? And what is the Lord’s perspective?

Mormon Mom WorkingAs Mormons, we believe families can be together forever. This is a great thing. That is why everything we do as parents is done (or at least, should be) with balance and the Lord’s perspective in mind. We are to teach our children “…by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; by kindness, … ” (D&C 121:41-43).

We love our children. That is usually a given. That is why we want the best for them possible. Sometimes as parents we bend over backwards, wanting them to be happy. In some instances, though, this gentle yielding to their whimsical desires can backfire. This is when trouble sets in, tensions can begin to mount, and if we’re not careful, regrettable words are spoken.

For instance, let’s think on after-school hours. Most everyone is tired. The kids are tired from their long day at school (and believe me, the work thrown at kids by their teachers seems immense these days, let alone the peer pressure to fold immorally). And Mom and Dad are tired from their own pressures.

Everyone arrives home, a bit beat. And what do they face? Sometimes, no matter how careful a family is, the house can look like it has thrown up. “This is not good,” we think to ourselves. And so we set into the kids. “Pick up your shoes! Put away your backpack! What were you thinking, leaving your cereal bowl out like this?!?!”

And before we know it, we’ve lost sight of the beauty of our children because we’ve become so intensely focused on the disarray of the house. Yet, a clean house invites the Spirit of God. So what is to be done?

First, I’d love to hear what you’ve done that is successful in your own home. For truly, there are homes that stay fairly clean and inviting, yet there also abides a loving and patient climate within that home.

For truly, along with teaching our children to pray, live the Gospel, and rely upon the Lord, we also are to teach them to work. One of the Lord’s representatives, Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, stated that we are to teach “children to work, … teach them that honest labor develops dignity and self-respect. Help them to find pleasure in work and to feel the satisfaction that comes from a job well done” (Joseph B. Wirthlin, “Spiritually Strong Homes and Families,” Ensign, May 1993, 68 – to read more of Elder Worthlin’s excellent talk, click here).

If children are yelled at during chores, how can respect – or a sense of satisfaction from doing a job well – or pleasure come?

On the other hand, I know there are adults who have grasped well the gentle grace of refining their children (and themselves). So I ask again, what have you done to teach your children pleasure and satisfaction in honest labor and work – whether at home or elsewhere? Feel free to comment and share your thoughts. We are all eager to hear them.

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