Most of us have seen the movie Freaky Friday. If not, it’s a humorous Disney movie where a teenage daughter and mother are mysteriously switched – into each other’s bodies.
The point of the movie seems to be that sometimes parents do not understand their children’s pressures, and, conversely, that children do not understand the pressures of their parents.
By the end of the movie (sorry for the spoiler here), understand each other much better.
If you’re feeling a struggle between you and one of your children, why not try the following little activity. It’s a bit zany and crazy, but you might be surprised just how fun, and eye-opening, it can be.
Develop a list of questions for each other – a bit like an interviewer would do for a guest on a television show. The questions might be something like this:
1. If I were to switch places with you for a day, what would be one essential warning I would need to have to function well in your world – whether at school, with friends, or at home?
2. What is your biggest pet peeve in the entire world?
3. If you could do one thing over, what would it be and why?
4. What do you love most about your family?
5. What worries you most about your family?
6. What tradition do you wish your family would start?
7. What do you like most in friends?
8. What has hurt you most in your family?
9. What is one strength you wish the Lord could give you?
10. How could I do better in helping you?
Once you have the list of questions, make two copies of them. Allow a few days for the child and yourself to fill them out. Then swap the questions, but only after establishing these rules:
A. For one day, we agree to look at life from the perspective of the other and not be offended by that perspective. During this day, we will work to defend that position as rationally and honestly as possible.
B. During that time,in our interactions with each other, and in good faith, we will lean on the interview questions to help us in this process.
C. At the end of the day, we will go out for ice cream to talk about our experiences and share three things we learned that were beautiful about the other person.
Again, it is a bit zany for a mother to be thinking as a fourteen-year old (for example), but then again, it can be an eye-opening experience. What we’re aiming for, of course, in this life exercise, is to see the beauty in, and to understand a bit better, the child that causes concern.
In fact, why not do this activity with all your children? A little understanding can go a long way – one moment at a time.
