The word “submission” gets a bad rap in today’s “politically correct” society. We have a sense that no one should ever have to submit to anyone, that we are all created equal and that since no one is above or below another’s station, submission should never occur.
And let’s be clear. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints does not advocate that men should dominate over their wives in marriage. On the contrary, the proclamation on the family states, “fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.”
Furthermore, President Spencer W. Kimball has said:
Please be a contributing and full partner.
In his talk, “The Women in Our Lives” President Gordon B. Hinckley affirms this idea.
Notwithstanding this preeminence given the creation of woman, she has so frequently through the ages been relegated to a secondary position. She has been put down. She has been denigrated. She has been enslaved. She has been abused. And yet some few of the greatest characters of scripture have been women of integrity, accomplishment, and faith…
Crossing through His life we have Mary and Martha, and Mary of Magdala. She it was who came to the tomb that first Easter morning. And to her, a woman, He first appeared as the resurrected Lord. Why is it that even though Jesus placed woman in a position of preeminence, so many men who profess His name fail to do so?
In His grand design, when God first created man, He created a duality of the sexes. The ennobling expression of that duality is found in marriage. One individual is complementary to the other. As Paul stated, “Neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord” (1 Cor. 11:11)…
There are some men who, in a spirit of arrogance, think they are superior to women. They do not seem to realize that they would not exist but for the mother who gave them birth. When they assert their superiority they demean her. It has been said, “Man can not degrade woman without himself falling into degradation; he can not elevate her without at the same time elevating himself” (Alexander Walker, in Elbert Hubbard’s Scrap Book [1923], 204)….
How thankful I am, how thankful we all must be, for the women in our lives. God bless them. May His great love distill upon them and crown them with luster and beauty, grace and faith. And may His Spirit distill upon us as men and lead us ever to hold them in respect, in gratitude, giving encouragement, strength, nurture, and love, which is the very essence of the gospel of our Redeemer and Lord.
So if women are “equal partners” in a marriage, what does it mean to submit? First of all, submission can be a beautiful thing. Children submit to their parents out of love and respect. The Savior submitted to the will of the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane. A mother constantly submits to her children by serving them and taking care of their needs ahead of her own. This doesn’t mean that her children rule over her or are better than her. In fact, because of her submission, she elevates her own state.
Also, Ephesians 5:21 assures us that we are to submit to each other—the wives to the husbands and the husbands to the wives. That demonstrates the equality of the partnership. Additionally, the footnote in the LDS version of the King James Version of the Bible refers us to the topical guide for “Reconciliation”, indicating that this submitting to each other is really a process of unification.
One of the beautiful things about this submission is that we women are not being taught to submit to angry or abusive husbands, to their whims, to their selfish desires. We are being taught to submit to them the way the church submits to Christ. And for the men’s part, they are being taught to love and cherish their wives the way that Chris loved the church and gave himself for it, to love their wives as their own body and nurture her and cherish her. What woman wouldn’t want to yield herself to such a man?
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”
I find it interesting how people try to interpret Paul’s words in order to make them more appealing to us today. Why is it not okay to just recognize that Paul lived in a vastly different time, and therefore, gave different counsel? I listen to modern-day prophets first and foremost when trying to understand marriage, and that message is clearly one of equal partnership. A “submissive” spouse implies one who excuses themselves from responsibility, duty, and contribution to the marriage relationship – one who allows his/her spouse to dictate his/her will/opinions/preferences/decisions upon the other. This is not equal partnership, nor do I think it helpful to try to re-interpret the sense of the word to justify Paul’s comments. I don’t believe Paul hated women, and his counsel was probably good counsel for the time in which he lived. But the Church is moving ever-steadily from even appearing to promote an unequal marriage relationship. I feel many men and women are reluctant to change, and who can blame them after centuries of having our psyches trained to think and behave in a male-dominant world. Women are to support their husbands as they strive to administer the priesthood in the home – i.e. teach the gospel, perform ordinances, apply direction from Church leaders, etc. Women are to act as equal partners in these efforts, meaning all responsibility, authority, and service in the home are shared. Husbands and wives should make decisions jointly, compromise equally, and make the needs of the other foremost in their considerations. This is what I hear the leaders of the Church saying today. I don’t understand what others are hearing.
amen to this!!
This.
Thank you for talking about this!! Submission has become such a taboo in our society that most just want to avoid this topic altogether. There is SO much growth when we decide to submit ourselves to our husbands and to the Lord.