I have a unique marriage story that’ll probably set your teeth on edge. The story is my own and it goes like this: I was a young woman of twenty-two when I wanted to serve a mission for the LDS Church. I prepared my papers with the help of my Bishop and everything was done except for the final review of the required steps and then for my Bishop to sign and submit the papers for me. At that final interview my Bishop offered a prayer on my behalf before signing the papers. When he finished praying, my sweet Bishop looked up at me and did not speak for a long moment. I felt a tingling sensation crawl over my skin: I suspected the Bishop had just received revelation on my behalf, but what could it be? When he finally spoke, he uttered words that had not been anywhere on my radar. My Bishop said “Ali, at this time I feel the Lord has a different mission in mind for you. I believe you should get married.”

mormon temple marriageI laughed out loud.

Married? Ha! There were precious few Mormon boys around and I had already dated all of them and nothing had come of it. I said as much to the Bishop.

“Well, I feel strongly, that there is someone here who the Lord intends for you to marry. I feel one month would be sufficient. Give the Lord one month to find you a husband and if you don’t have a good offer of marriage in that time, I will sign and submit your mission papers.”

Keep in mind, this was 1990, it wasn’t the dark ages. Still, one month wasn’t really too much to ask and if it was revelation … well … I thought I’d better go along with it. But I wasn’t at all convinced I would find a man – and a good marriage offer to boot! – within that time frame. I considered my mission had simply been delayed by a month, nothing more.

Until one day, like many others, when several of the youth in my Stake went to the airport to see off the missionaries who were leaving our area and heading back home at the conclusion of their mission. There was one among them, Elder Cross, who had been my friend. We had written a few letters and he had always been very encouraging of me serving a mission. When his flight was called we stood to shake hands in farewell. What happened next is amazing to me, even to this day.

When we shook hands I was, for lack of a better word, zapped. I yanked my hand away and just stared at Elder Cross. His Mission President’s wife was standing right beside us and had witnessed this exchange. She exclaimed “Oh my goodness! You two are going to get married!” I forgot to mention that the one potential prospect I had for fulfilling the Bishop’s prediction that I would find a husband within a month, was her son, who was not Elder Cross!

Elder Cross and I mumbled goodbyes, still rather stunned by what had transpired between us. I went home and prayed about what had happened, and I later found out he did the same. The answer we both received was the same: We were to marry. Two weeks later David called and asked me to marry him.

When I had my follow-up interview with my Bishop and reported my stunning news, he just smiled and confirmed that this was indeed the path my Heavenly Father desired for me.

So, why do I tell you this whole story? Because, as you can imagine, David and I came at our marriage with a different perspective than a lot of young people. We hadn’t felt attracted to each other, hadn’t desired each other, didn’t really know each other well at all. And yet, we knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were to be together. Perhaps because of these things we knew we had to work at our marriage and we took nothing for granted.

We had a long distance courtship and were only physically together for nine days before we were married in the Logan Temple for time and all eternity. Perhaps because we felt we owed our being together to our Heavenly Father, we have often sought His help in all our trials. There have been obstacles to overcome, and there will yet be, but life has been happy and rich because we have a marriage based on mutual love and respect for one another and an unwavering faith in God.

It is my fervent belief that happiness is the goal and design of marriage. God intended for us to not only be one, but to be happy in that oneness. Adam, speaking of Eve, said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh” (Gen 2:23) Elder James E. Faust in his talk entitled “Enriching Your Marriage” in the April 2007 Ensign said “We build our marriages with endless friendship, confidence, and integrity and also by ministering to and sustaining each other in our difficulties.”

Building a happy marriage takes constant and continued effort. No one goes through life blissfully happy without many rocks thrown at them along the way. There are troubles and trials that threaten to break apart even the most sound marriage. But there are things you can do to help protect and nurture your marital bond.

President Faust lists in his talk several tools that will enrich your marriage, among which are:

Prayer. Marriage relationships can be enriched by better communication. One important way is to pray together. This will resolve many of the differences, if there are any, between the couple before going to sleep.

Virtue. Virtue is the strong glue that holds it all together. Said the Lord, “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else” (D&C 42:22).

Divine presence. Of all that can bless marriages, there is one special enriching ingredient that above all else will help join a man and a woman together in a very real, sacred, spiritual sense. It is the presence of the divine in marriage.

There is nothing more sweet than kneeling down beside your partner at the end of the day to speak with your Heavenly Father. For one thing, you are more likely to hear wonderful things about yourself from the mouth of your partner when he or she is thanking God for you! But not only that, it is an opportunity to pray for one another, to show understanding of the trials our partner faces, and that we face together. Prayer offers the speaker the chance to express his innermost thoughts and feelings without interruption and the listener the chance to actively listen, hear and understand her partner.

When you pray for one another, you experience a deeper level of love that comes close to that emulated by Jesus, and that is charity. With charity in your heart for your partner, you experience the virtue spoken of by President Faust; you love one another like nothing else. And because there is charity in your hearts one for another, the Divine has license to dwell in your hearts and to further bless and administer to your union.

If you are facing divorce or your marriage is threatened in any way, I encourage you to read President’s Faust’s talk “Enriching Your Marriage”.

About Ali C

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