I am fat. I am ugly. No one likes me. I’m not smart enough. I’m not talented enough. I’m worthless.
Do these lies sound familiar to you?
Yes, I said lies. Oh, they might contain slivers of truth; the Adversary likes to work that way. He will tell you things that are partially true so that you are inclined to believe them, while at the same time inundating you with non-truths as well. “And also Satan hath sought to deceive you, that he might overthrow you.” (D&C 50:3)
“In all of this, I suppose it goes without saying that negative speaking so often flows from negative thinking, including negative thinking about ourselves. We see our own faults, we speak—or at least think—critically of ourselves, and before long that is how we see everyone and everything. No sunshine, no roses, no promise of hope or happiness. Before long we and everybody around us are miserable.” (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Tongue of Angels, Ensign May 2007)
Have you ever heard of positive affirmations? Our minds are susceptible to the propaganda we subject them to. If we tell ourselves how awful we are, we are bound to believe it. Thankfully, the converse is also true: Our minds will believe the wonderful things we tell it about ourselves, too.
“The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:16-18)
You can be happy, if you can find a way to believe in yourself.
“I love what Elder Orson F. Whitney once said: “The spirit of the gospel is optimistic; it trusts in God and looks on the bright side of things. The opposite or pessimistic spirit drags men down and away from God, looks on the dark side, murmurs, complains, and is slow to yield obedience.” We should honor the Savior’s declaration to “be of good cheer.” (Indeed, it seems to me we may be more guilty of breaking that commandment than almost any other!) Speak hopefully. Speak encouragingly, including about yourself. Try not to complain and moan incessantly. As someone once said, “Even in the golden age of civilization someone undoubtedly grumbled that everything looked too yellow.”” (Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, “The Tongue of Angels, Ensign May 2007)
So let’s break it down. I want to help you find happiness again, to see in yourself what your Father in Heaven sees in you.
Speak Hopefully: If you expect good things to happen, good will happen.
No vision and you perish;
No Ideal, and you’re lost;
Your heart must ever cherish
Some faith at any cost.
Some hope, some dream to cling to,
Some rainbow in the sky,
Some melody to sing to,
Some service that is high.
~ Harriet Du Autermont
Speak Encouragingly including about yourself: This is the most important point for today, I think. We all know you can’t beat a dog and expect it to continue to love you and be obedient. Why then do we think we can beat ourselves up all day long and expect anything more from ourselves than constant disappointment?
If you want to see some different results, try some different methods. I like the positive affirmation. Sometimes I feel silly, it’s true, but I do believe it works. Every now and then I have to break out the feel-good statements and say them to myself a lot over a few days’ time. Invariably, before too long I feel much better. You can say anything that works for you; I like “I’m a good and kind person and people like me.” Say it with a smile on your face. And say it like you mean it!
Motivational guru Zig Ziglar said, “The most influential person who will talk to you all day is you, so you should be very careful about what you say to you.”
Don’t be so down on yourself. Don’t be so critical of your success, or lack thereof, so far in your life. Choose happiness, choose to believe in yourself.
Think: “I look great!”; “I am beautiful.”; “People like me.”; “I’m smart.”; “I have valuable talents and skills.”; “I deserve to be happy because I am a child of God and He loves me.”
