God wants you to be happy. Happiness is not a golden ticket won by chance. Happiness is yours for the taking, by making righteous choices and living a good life. Life does not have to be perfect for you to happy, because happiness is not found outside of yourself. You hold the key to happiness within yourself, at this very moment.
In his talk “Be a Quality Person” (Ensign, Feb 1993, 64,) Marvin J. Ashton, listed six ways that we can be better people and in bettering ourselves, becoming quality people, we will find the well of happiness within us. He said “Don’t worry about being a good wife [or husband]. Concern yourself with life’s number one priority: being a quality person. If you are a quality person, you don’t have to worry about being a good wife, mother, daughter, Church member, leader, single, or community strength. If you are a quality person, you will be good in any situation in which you find yourself.”
1. Respect yourself. Respect your morals, your virtues, your body and your choices. If you respect yourself you will take care in your appearance and your behavior. When you respect yourself, you will be happy with yourself knowing that you have not compromised your values or beliefs. William George Jordan once said, “Man has two creators, his God and himself. The first creator furnishes him the raw materials of his life—the laws and conformity with which he can make that life what he will. The second creator—himself—has powers he rarely realizes. It is what a man makes of himself that counts.”
Mormon beliefs (members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints) include the ancient Book of Moses. In that book we read: “And it came to pass that Moses looked upon Satan and said: Who art thou? For behold, I am a son of God, in the similitude of his Only Begotten; and where is thy glory, that I should worship thee?” (Moses 1:13)I love that! It all comes down to that. You are a child of God, in the similitude of His Only Begotten. Remember.
2. Value integrity. Be the sort of person other people can trust. Elder Ashton said “Truly happy persons will always be totally honest in their dealings with their fellowman.” The scriptures are replete with examples of the value of integrity, but I love this scripture the best: “for I, the Lord, love him because of the integrity his heart, and because he loveth that which is right before me, saith the Lord” (D&C 124:15, 20.) Knowing that God can trust you, what a happy feeling!
3. Do not be easily offended. Life is too short to spend it with hurt feelings. Don’t let yourself get bogged down in despair over the bothersome things other people do or say. Be optimistic and have hope, then you will be truly happy. Allowing yourself to take offense is like shutting yourself off in a prison. Dark and lonely, there is rarely happiness in such a place. In Proverbs we read, “A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle” (Proverbs 18:19.)
4. Develop the capacity not only to love, but to be loveable. Be tender and sincere with others at every possible opportunity. Worry less over who loves you, and more over who you love and how you can show them. Giving love and kindness to others, without thought for how those feelings might be recriprocated is your surest route to personal happiness. That is the pure love of Christ and it will enliven your soul and bless you. “But charity is the pure blove of Christ, and it endureth cforever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him” (Moroni 7:47.)
Thomas P. Malone said: “Almost every emotional problem can be summed up in one particular bit of behavior: it’s a person walking around screaming, ‘… Love me.’ Love me, that’s all. He goes through a million different manipulations to get somebody to love him.
“On the other hand, healthy people are those who walk around looking for someone to love. And, if you see changes in the people who are screaming, ‘Love me, love me,’ it’s when they realize that if they give up this screaming and go to the other business of loving another human, they can get the love they’ve been screaming for all their lives. It’s hard to learn, but it’s good when you learn it.” (“Points to Ponder,” Reader’s Digest, Jan. 1974, p. 151.)
5. Don’t be a complainer. If you have a habit of criticzing or nagging others, let it go. If you adopt an attitude of optimism, you’ll find where there is something to complain about, there is also something to be grateful for. Focus on the good, see the glass as half full and your spirit of optimism will see you through.
6. Develop real faith and live by it. Model your life in this fashion: “and they humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God. And behold, they were faithful until the end; therefore they were saved” (Alma 5:13,) and you will also find joy in your journey. “With true faith we will increase our meaningful relationship with God. This will develop and expand our knowledge that God is our father. He lives. He loves us. He hears our prayers and would lead us to eternal happiness.”
Above all, be kind to yourself. When you look at yourself in the mirror, be slow to judge. See the good in you. Your Father in Heaven does! He created you. He loves you. You have all the potential in the world to be truly happy, and you hold that happiness within you every day. It is only up to you to decide if you will be the kind of quality person that can unlock the happiness within and live your best life now.
