Do you have a temper? When does it flair? For me, it is most likely to happen when I’m tired, stressed, and already emotionally taxed. I’m normally very easy going, but yes there are times when I’m easily provoked. Sadly, it is usually those that I love most that are hurt the most by my bursts of temper. The effects of one hour of yelling can last for days. I’m not only finding a source for my anger, but as I direct it I end up feeling mad at myself for getting mad at them. But, in my state of anger it feeds off of itself rather than turning to repentance. I lash out more, pathetically trying to justify myself, to place blame anywhere but where it belongs- on me.
Perhaps the hardest part of it all comes when the anger finally simmers away and I can vividly see the damage I have caused. The hardest part is saying “I’m sorry” and trying to figure out how to make it right again.
Most of us have moments when we feel frustrated, impatient, hurt, irritated or contentious. It’s usually just the little things, the little day to day irritations that trickle into our spirit and find root in our hearts to grow into something bigger. The trick is being aware of those tiny moments and turning away from them, rather than leaning into the pain of the moment and letting those negative emotions overtake us and grow.
Giving place for anger can open the door to tremendous amounts of pain and violence. It offends the Spirit, forcing Him to leave our presence. It can leave lasting scars of many kinds. There is no place for the kinds of abuse that can result from anger among the disciples of Christ. By learning to overcome anger and contention we restrict its ability to infect those around us. We are one step closer to become like the Savior, for “charity is not easily provoked.”
The Savior was the ultimate example of turning away from anger, even in the face of very hurtful situations. We read that “they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.” (1 Ne. 19:9) His response to those who crucified him was simply “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Luke 23:34) What an amazing legacy of love and patience to live up to.
The Savior said that the spirit of anger and contention “is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another. Behold, this is not my doctrine, to stir up the hearts of men with anger, one against another; but this is my doctrine, that such things should be done away.” (3 Ne. 11:29-30)
It is our task to rid our lives and hearts of the anger within us. Sometimes it’s just a matter of being more aware, more careful with our moods and stress levels. For others, anger and contention have a more permanent place in our hearts. Perhaps it may take a more concentrated effort. The first steps might be searching the scriptures and the examples around us for ways we can conquer our problem. The second might be inviting the Lord to be part of our resolution, asking for His constant help and guidance through prayer and fasting may be advisable.
If we can come off conqueror against this poisonous enemy of anger and violence we will find ourselves one step closer to a heart filled with charity and joy
