We had a lesson in church about marriage recently, and I was struck by something the instructor said at the very end of the lesson. She reminded those of us who have been married for many years to put some sweetness back into our marriage. To drive the point home, she passed out cookies wrapped up in netting like a wedding favor. I took the cookies home, and as I enjoyed them after lunch, I thought about what she said.

It is true that after many years of marriage you sometimes take it all for granted. I try very hard not to do that, but occasionally it is necessary to put a little sweetness back in my marriage. It’s not good to become boring. It’s always fun to keep your partner guessing. Once in a while I like to do something totally out of character just to throw him off a bit and make him laugh.

My husband is a master at bringing sweetness to our marriage. He’s a very kind, considerate man. Who can’t love a man who surprises you by mopping the kitchen floor? How can you be angry with someone who puts your needs and desires above his? It also doesn’t hurt that he’s on a first name basis with a florist—and I’m a sucker for fresh flowers. He’s not much for writing love notes, but he loves greeting cards. When my husband picks out a greeting card, you know he has poured over every card on the rack to find the exact words to express the feelings of his heart. My children loved receiving cards from him every week when they were away at college or serving missions for our church. He may not be able to vocally express what is in his heart sometimes, but he knows what he wants to say when he sees it on a card.

I love to do the unexpected once in a while. He expects me to be the sensible one who applies reason and logic to everything. When I throw all caution to the wind and do something crazy, it tickles him because it is so unexpected. I’m not picky about the things we do together because I’ve learned over the years that we have a good time no matter what planning goes into our date night or any other special time together. I usually let him decide, for instance, what movies we see or which restaurant we go to for dinner. Sometimes, though, I’ll just come out with something that we’ve never done before, or at least not for a long time and tell him that’s what we’re going to do. He always chuckles when I do that because it is so out of character for me.

The sweetness you pour into your marriage doesn’t have to be sappy maple syrup when a Hershey’s kiss will do. Second honeymoons are wonderful, but not always practical. Maybe what is really needed is a good old dose of “Thank you. Thank you just for being you.” Obviously, there is a whole spectrum between the two. Decide what kind of sweetness your marriage needs, and then throw caution to the wind and go for it.

When I was a busy mom, I remember one year on my birthday my husband sent me Christmas shopping by myself. While I was gone, he cleaned the house from top to bottom. He cut a rose from the bush in the back yard and put it in a vase on the kitchen table. On my return from my shopping trip, he gave me my birthday present—which was a package of my favorite fuzzy socks and a can of Almond Roca (my favorite candy). Those were gifts from the heart, and truly put sweetness in our marriage. It worked so well, that for years I could count on Almond Roca and fuzzy socks either for my birthday or Christmas.

If I really want to do something extra special for my husband, I plan a short trip—sometimes even just a day trip. Long vacations bring stress for him for some reason I’ve never figured out, but he likes short trips. We can spend anywhere from one afternoon to four days away from the daily routine, and he’s like a new man. Those times away add sweetness to our marriage.

Little gestures of kindness go a long way to sweetening up a marriage. On one of our short trips years ago, my husband picked a purple wild flower and put it in my hair. I pressed that flower and kept it in my scriptures for several years until it completely disintegrated. Every time I looked at that flower it brought back sweet memories. More importantly, it brought the same pitter pat to my heart that it did the moment he first put it in my hair.

Whether you’ve been married one year or 60 years, take the time to put a little sweetness in your marriage this week. A few compliments, an hour to cuddle, a candle on the dinner table, holding hands “just because”, a love message written on the bathroom mirror, doing your partner’s chores along with your own, a picnic in the neighborhood park, or sitting quietly together listening to good music will go a long way to adding that special something to your marriage. Make a memory this week.

Marriage

To read all of Tudie Rose’s article on marriage, click the picture.

Related posts:

How Important Is Mother’s Day/Father’s Day to a Marriage? Talk About Wills, Trusts, and Burial Plans Early in Marriage Marriage Means Guidance Celebrating My Own Marriage