The other day, as I was out walking the dog, I looked up at the night sky and saw all of the beautiful stars. It was so dark, but each star radiated so much light and together all of the stars made a beautiful picture. Then I realized that I couldn’t see the moon out amidst all of the stars. The moon is the big kahuna among the stars. Without it, the sky wasn’t as bright as it could be. However, I noticed all of the other smaller stars and the light that they had to offer before I even noticed that the moon wasn’t out.
This analogy caused me to further reflect on my life as a single adult. Some may say that the moon of marriage is missing from my night sky. In fact, when I go home for visits or talk to my married friends, it seems that the missing moon is the first thing that everyone notices. What about all of the individual bright stars in my life that are good, beautiful, and noteworthy?
Many young single adults are much more accomplished then myself, and so their lists of individual stars will be much longer than mine. However, pondering this analogy, I discovered a list of good things in my life besides marriage. I offer that list to the world in an effort to show that our lives can be full and abundant even without marriage.
Single With a Strong Testimony of the Lord
The first shining star in my night sky is that the Lord has blessed me to develop a strong relationship with Him. In my life, I have meaningful prayer and communication with God. He responds to me as I study His words and the life of His Son in the scriptures. He has blessed me with a knowledge of who He is and, therefore, who I am and of my value regardless of any accomplishment in life! This star became exceptionally bright in my night sky while I served as a missionary for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
The Value of Family to a Single Woman
The next shiny star in my life is my family. My parents are amazing! They have taught me the value of hard work and sacrifice. I have the coolest brothers and sister out of anyone I know. They are all unique and different but they teach me a lot about life, and also about having fun. Recently I have been blessed with beautiful nephews who are so adorable and fill many moments of my life with joy and satisfaction.
The Value of Education to a Single Woman
As a graduate of Brigham Young University, I have been blessed with an excellent education! I studied a rigorous course of linguistics. My professors placed me at the feet of people like Chomsky, Labov, and other famous linguists. Most of all what I learned in my education was that I possessed the ability to learn. This skill has greatly blessed my life.
Because of my education, I have a good job and work with excellent people. I am blessed also with an internship that provides even greater meaning and purpose in my life. These two take the most of my time, but I am learning so much from them and I am surrounded by incredible people while I work. The coolest part is that I am starting to see talents and skills that I can develop to make my life even more full of meaning and purpose.
The Value of Friendships to a Single Woman
Yet another shining star in my night sky is my incredible group of friends! There are several different personality types, characteristics, and styles among my friends. They range in cultural background from Mexican and Mongolian, to Utahan and Pennsylvanian. They make me a better person and allow me the opportunity to grow and become something different. They teach me how to have fun in good, clean ways. They make it easier to live my standards and feel God’s love in my life. They make it easier to work hard.
These are just five of the bright stars in my night sky, and they may differ from yours, but notice that even without a giant moon, my night sky has a lot of things to fill it up and make it beautiful. It may sound silly, but I actually feel like I am enjoying a most abundant life, even if it is different then I may have previously imagined it to be! I invite everyone, no matter your marital status, to look around and notice not only the bright stars in your sky, but also the bright stars in the skies of people around you. Perhaps focus on what each person does have, rather than on the one thing that is missing!
This article was originally published in 2014. Minor edits have been made.
Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life. Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language. Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn't feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work. Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.