Those of us who are mothers know it’s hard. I swear, after two years I still struggle with the change. I’d like to think I’m not the only one, because you’d think after 2 years I’d “have it down,” and in some things I do. I know when my daughter’s sad, mad, or hurting. Sometimes I don’t always know why, but I know. There are other things however, I feel so lost in! Trying to balance being a mom, wife, me, a daughter, friend, a youth leader in my church…it’s a lot. Most days I feel completely overwhelmed by it all, more than I like to admit. Sometimes I feel like I’m treading water for weeks!
I’m an avid reader, so I keep thinking maybe if I read all the parenting books I will know what to do or figure it out. Maybe if I read enough, I’ll get it. I also love planners and organizing. Maybe if I plan every minute of my life, I will get it down. Who wants to plan every minute of their life though? Where’s the living in that?
I am sorry to say I haven’t found a perfect solution to balance it all. I don’t know that I ever will, but I may have found a way to get through it, and that’s through prayer. I was taught at a young age to say my prayers, to ask God, and it will be given to you. Teaching and doing are two very different things. I am not always good at saying my prayers. I knew I should be saying them, and when I talked to my friends about my struggles, the first thing they would ask is, “Are you saying your prayers?” In the back of my mind I knew I should be praying, but I felt discouraged because I needed answers now! I’m a visual learner, so I felt I needed a plan I could write down, something I could see to fix the problem.
I was pouring my heart out one day to my sister-in-law who, like everyone else, asked if I had been saying my prayers. I explained to her that I needed a step-by-step how to on how to be a good mom and wife. I told her I knew praying would help, but I still wouldn’t be organized or balanced. My ever-so-patient sister-in-law just smiled and nudged me to give it a try.
I woke up every day an hour early and prayed–hard. Since I have started my morning prayers, it really has gotten so much better! No, my day didn’t magically get organized, nor did the laundry magically wash itself and put itself away. I have been able, though, to face it all with a better attitude. The week I started my morning prayers was what seemed like the worst week in my life! I kid you not! I dealt with more poop than I should probably admit, but that’s regular life, and I’m keeping it real. Our toilet overflowed, my daughter pooped out of her diaper on the carpet, my husband was gone every night helping the missionaries, and everything that could go wrong did. I’d say it was a very trying week.
I also have to say it was probably the most rewarding. Heavenly Father knew I was testing Him. Would prayer really make that much of a difference? So what did he do? He gave me the worst week ever, and you know what? I cleaned that poop happily. I like to think God has a great sense of humor. It was my best and worst week ever. He knew that because of my doubts, I had to have a hard week so I could see the results of my morning prayers. My testimony of prayer definitely strengthened and I was humbled. How could I have gone this long without praying? How could I doubt it would make a difference? Shame on me. But I have learned and I am grateful for that experience because now I know.
Some days go really smoothly, and some days are still really tough, but now my mind has been refocused to taking care of myself spiritually and letting the rest fall into place. Today I had a busy, but productive day. I reflected a lot today, and immersed myself in the less worldly things. I said my morning prayer, I played with my daughter, I did some laundry, I made a dinner for a friend of mine who needed it and for the first time in a long time, the daily things didn’t seem so daunting. There is nothing easy about all the things we women do, but when you put God first, and when you center your home and life around the gospel principles, it’s amazing what it will do for your family and for you.
Krystal is a latter-day mom and Holy Homemaker to 3 beautiful kiddos who is striving to find joy in the everyday trenches of motherhood and life! Her passion is sharing her experience of decluttering with a purpose to help others create a Holy Home where the messes subside and the Spirit resides. She is a lover of books, nature, music, food, the gospel, and all things Texas! Follow her at her website, Latter-day Mom!