While playing Lightning Mcqueen the other night, my little friend stopped and asked quite seriously “Ashley how do I get married?”
“Matthew, who do you want to marry?”
“I want to marry you! I think I need a ring. Can I borrow yours?”
After I gave it to him he grabbed my hand and said, “Now we are married. Let’s eat cake!”
My immediate thought, (other than what a cute kid), was, “Man is he asking the wrong person how to get married.” As a twenty-something single adult with a minimally existing love life I am probably the least experienced when it comes to that question. Then I began to wish my two-year-old friend was right and that it really was that simple!
So, how do I get married? Well, I will be perfectly honest in admitting I still don’t have a good answer, but when I do, I will be sure to share my knowledge with the world and an app will be created for convenient use, I am sure. What I can offer is the lessons that I learned from the simple perspective of a child.
First of all, I give credit to his parents who have taught him the importance of marriage even when he is still so young. He understands that he desires this gift, and he also understands that he has to do something in order for this gift to be received. This lesson can be applied to each single adult. Sometimes, it seems that my friends and I act as though we don’t desire to get married because we are embarrassed that this wish has not yet been fulfilled. In moments it seems we will accept and admit the desire but most often we tend not to admit that we have to actually do something about these desires, so that they can be fulfilled. This two-year-old took more action in five minutes then I tend to take in a year to make marriage happen for me.
Next, I think we tend to complicate the whole process of getting married. At first I thought this was just a problem with women as we tend to think and over-think a good portion of the time. Then I spoke to some of my gentlemen friends and saw that it actually seems to be a universal problem. It starts out with making the whole process of dating really complicated and making a bigger deal about it then is actually necessary. We let what others think get in the way. In the perspective of this little man all you need to do is find a right person, ask them one question, and then proceed to the cake. Alright, so finding a right person maybe be the tricky part, but if you open your eyes you may be surprised at just how many options the good Lord has put in front of you.
Third, don’t let questions, doubts, or confusion get in your way. Matthew had a question, so he asked it. If we find ourselves in a relationship with another person and we don’t know what’s going on, or how to move forward we can learn from his direct question. We can ask. When we ask a question we open up the doors to communication. Asking questions is also the best way I can think of to get to know someone better. If you aren’t sure how to ask a girl on a date, ask your parents, or ask a buddy, or ask your church leaders. They will certainly be full of plenty of advice. Girls, if you don’t know how to talk to a gentlemen, ask a question. They may even answer and start the conversation for you.
Finally, be excited for the cake! What I mean is to realize that marriage isn’t something to be dreaded or feared. Think about the joy that it will bring into your life. Then work for that goal. Who knows how long it will take for you to get the right ingredients to make the right cake, but hey, any good baker knows that you can invent some new recipes with different ingredients along the way. Maybe you will have some sample cupcakes while you wait for your big cake at the end of the process.
So, in my simple-minded brain, I learned that there is much a two-year-old can teach you, even about marriage! Remember your desires, act according to those desires, ask questions, and be excited for the future!
Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life. Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language. Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn't feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work. Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.