People chose to homeschool for their religion, to avoid a bad social situation, to meet the needs of a unique child and as a family lifestyle. We chose homeschooling for academic reasons. Here is our story.
A long, long ago, in a time before children, I was an ASL interpreter in a public school. I love children and I love ASL. I also value common sense. There were some ridiculous choices made by administration and some crazy mistakes by teachers. My least favorite moment resulted in my signing HO2 for water for forty-five minutes as I slowly self-combusted. As an interpreter, I’m not supposed to correct or fix, just interpret. I’m a bad interpreter in that regard. My student asked what was wrong and finally asked a question to clarify the formula for water and just as the teacher noticed his mistake the bell rang. Now I met great teachers while I interpreted, but I was constantly reminded of my least favorite aspects of public school -the boredom, the waiting, the inflexibility to teach how and when children learn best, lack of common sense and the lasting impact of a bad teacher. I left interpreting with two main thoughts: I could do better than this and testing is ridiculous.
At the same time my husband was doing his student teaching as a history teacher. His cooperating teacher was engaged and distracted. He came home with such gems of wisdom as: do not encourage your students to write; it takes too long to grade, multiple choice testing is the only way to go, and using original sources takes too much of your time. Now student teaching is always a clash of ideals versus reality, but this was really disappointing. He lost all desire to teach and went into business. He always kept it at the back of his mind that he’d like to teach and coach and make a difference and he did later return to it. His dad taught, his mom worked in a public school for years, and his uncles and aunts taught.
Fast forward a few years and we have a few darling children. Children are amazing! They are miracles. To watch them learn and discover is fascinating. I started reading about homeschooling.
I had a good experience at public school. Sure, I was bored, but I had friends and really enjoyed sports. I had some great teachers: Mrs Lloyd, Mr Harvey, Mrs Crie and Mr Huyett. They were amazing in and out of the classroom. They were passionate about their subject and inspired their students to learn and be better people. The very nature of the public school system fights against good teachers. The sheer number of students, the testing, and frequently, the administration all work against good teaching.
As I started studying about homeschool, I was struck by the basic truth that children are born with an incredible love of learning! How do you stop a child from counting? Anyone who’s ever been on a walk with a child knows they are natural scientists . . . completely willing to spend endless amounts of time observing a bug or a cloud or a crack in the sidewalk. I wanted my children to keep their love of learning. I wanted to give my children one-on-one attention and let them learn at their own pace. I wanted to share my own love of learning with them.
As I read book after book, I shared with my husband. Now my husband is well used to me interrupting whatever he’s doing with quotes from what I’m reading and my own thoughts. He is well used to me always having a book in hand and most nights he takes a book from my sleepy hands and marks my page for me. He’s a great listener. After a few years of him listening with almost no comments about homeschooling, I needed to know what he thought. Our oldest child was approaching kindergarten age and I was seriously thinking of homeschooling, even though I had only briefly met a few homeschoolers ever.
So one night I told him how I felt and what I was thinking. I remembered his long lineage of public educators. I was shaky. I didn’t know how long I would want to homeschool, but at least for elementary school. When I asked him how he felt, he said “I’ve always wanted to homeschool. I just didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to influence you when the burden to homeschool would mostly be on you.” He made me promise to homeschool for junior high even if I taught them nothing. He did not want his children to experience the bullying and social pressure that he experienced in junior high. I have so much respect for my husband that he didn’t push or prod or influence that decision. I do have the lion’s share of the workload and I completely appreciate his support and respect.
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After we had discussed it a while and decided we wanted to homeschool, we prayed. We believe God knows far more than we do. We’ve had great ideas before, prayed and felt we shouldn’t head in that direction. We’ve also had, like this time, a strong, peaceful feeling. We were homeschooling.
So a year or so later, on an August day . . . every other five-year-old went to school. Except ours. I was nervous and felt very unorthodox. We went to a museum. We made bread sticks in the shapes of letters and counted and sorted Legos. We wrote and did math and phonics. We played and worked and sang and read. It was a great day and very anti-climactic. I realized that homeschooling was just choosing not to outsource that aspect of my parenting. We just kept going the way we had begun. I saw my friends doing wonderful things in PTA, in the classroom and with homework. I spent that time teaching my child. That was our beginning.
Britt grew up in a family of six brothers and one sister and gained a bonus sister later. She camped in the High Sierras, canoed down the Colorado, and played volleyball at Brigham Young University. She then served a mission to South Africa.
With all of her time in the gym and the mountains and South Africa, she was totally prepared to become the mother of 2 sons and soon to be 9 daughters. By totally prepared she means willing to love them and muddle through everything else in a partially sleepless state. She is mostly successful at figuring out how to keep the baby clothed, or at least diapered, though her current toddler is challenging this skill.
She feels children naturally love to learn and didn’t want to disrupt childhood curiosity with worksheets and school bells. She loves to play in the dirt, read books, go on adventures, watch her children discover new things, and mentor her children. Her oldest child is currently at a community college and her oldest son is going to high school at a public school. She loves to follow her children in their unique paths and interests.
She loves to write because, unlike the laundry and the dishes, writing stays done. Whenever someone asks her how she does it all she wonders what in the world they think she’s doing.
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Our initial decision was academic also. My daughter was highly gifted (started teaching herself to read at age two) and learning disabled. In those days, schools associated learning disabilities with reading disorders and her learning disability wasn’t even on the list. They didn’t know what to do with her. Some teachers were wonderful and some just didn’t get it. Eventually we learned about homeschooling–it wasn’t so common in the 1980s–and went that route. Schools are great for kids who fit into certain slots, but they’re often not set up for kids who don’t. With homeschooling, my kids could work as far ahead as they wanted while having their disabilities accommodated. Accommodation wasn’t very acceptable then, either. Really, when they learned at home, their disabilities didn’t impact them at all and they’re all doing fine as adults.
Public schools can do amazing things with children with disabilities, precisely because dealing with a disability frequently requires a unique skill set and approach. It can also be a very very hard place for a uniqued child…when their needs aren’t taken into account.
I’m glad you were able to step up for your children Terrie. That was a harder step to make in the 80s.
Thank you for sharing this post. I do not have children of my own yet, but I have always been impressed by mothers who take responsibility for the education of their children! I appreciated your insights on your decision making process. I am sure your children will be blessed for your dedication!
Ashley, thanks for reading! In my experience there is no short cut to education. Whether in or out of a public school, parents have to be involved.
It was an interesting process. I’ve always been grateful to my husband for biting his tongue and waiting patiently for me to come to it!
For us, the decision to home-school was made when our youngest was in junior high. He was being bullied plus his academic needs weren’t being met. He was very bright but easily distracted so his academic performance didn’t qualify him for one of the seats in the gifted program. He gained from homeschooling and I did too. Through a local homeschooling group we gained friends and the support of others that understood what we were trying to do.
Thanks for sharing Christine! Everyone’s journey is so different! I”m glad you were able to meet your son’s needs! He’s blessed to have you as a mom!