We learn in the Book of Mormon that there must needs be an opposition in all things, and dating lives are certainly not the exception to that rule! Last week three fellows were introduced into the mix. Well, the bad news is that two out of three never called. That’s the risk with referrals, sometimes they fall through. (Ask anyone who has even been a full-time missionary) In other bad news, a break will need to be made from the current suggestions you have all offered. (Guess I need to reschedule that trip to Russia!)

Mormon DatingWhile the other two referrals never called, Mr. ACDC has so far not stopped calling. We recently made an agreement to focus only on getting to know each other for a little while. The good news is, the person who suggested being set up is in the lead. The future is unsure so the real winner is yet to be discovered, but for now, being set up has my endorsement.

You know for the past several years I have spent a lot of energy trying to find a man. Now that I have one who is willing to date me, I suddenly realize I’m not sure how to keep one. That is to say, that as much as I wanted this blessing from God I never really had the foresight to know what do with him when I found him. Pretty pathetic huh?

To be honest, the biggest reason I feel I can’t keep a man is that I have a problem with perfectionism. As such, I have a talent for looking at all the reasons why a person isn’t the right one to marry, and therefore I tend to run away before I even give them a chance to date me. As I’ve noticed my weakness I determined to study the doctrine of the topic in order to try to correct my bad behavior. In my search I came across this wonderful quote by Neal A. Maxwell. He said that “The key is to have our eyes wide open to our own faults and partially closed to the faults of others- not the other way around!” This time it is my goal to focus on becoming a better version of myself and to keep my eyes open to all of the amazing potential and goodness right in front of me. After all, he’s taking quite the risk to spend his time with someone as imperfect and crazy as me!

single life Ashley Dewey

The Single Life
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More good news, even though I’m not very good at dating, I believe the Lord knows I want very much to do what is right, and I am confident that He can help me do this hard thing. It reminds me of a quote from Bonnie Oscarson in General Conference. She said, “Of whom much is required, much more is given.” Some may say dating isn’t a very tough requirement; well for me it is, so what is given? In my mind it is peace, confidence, and power to push myself outside my boundaries.

As you can see, my knowledge of how to keep a man is very limited. Just like I tried your advice to find a man, I am more than willing to try your advice to keep one. I would love to hear any suggestions you have.

New to the quest? Find out how it all began.

About Ashley Dewey
Ashley Dewey is extremely talented at being single. Hobbies include awkward conversations with members of the opposite sex, repelling third dates, talking to boys about their girl problems and to girls about their boy problems. In her spare time she also has a very fulfilling school life, work life, and social life. Besides being a professional single, Ashley is also a BYU graduate with a degree in linguistics (Aka word nerd). She enjoys studying other languages, particularly American Sign Language, and finds most all of them fascinating. She is currently pursuing a masters degree in Teaching English as a Second Language. Ashley works most of the time and has often been accused of being a workaholic. Currently she works full time as a merchandiser and supervisor in a retail store, and part time doing social media work. On her day off she works (really it doesn't feel like work) in the Provo LDS temple. The only kind of work she finds difficulty focusing on is house work. Her favorite activities in her free time are reading, writing, creating social experiments, and spending time with great friends and family. Specific activities with those family and friends include: going to concerts, plays, dance recitals, BYU basketball and football games, and watching sports on television.

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