The approaching autumn season reminds me that my time is short: my time with the last of my children at home. I raised nine children over the past 33 years and now with the mission call of my second to the youngest about to come, I will have only one child left at home. After 2 years he will be gone and then what?
Many parents experience what most people know as the “Empty Nest Syndrome”. What is that exactly? From my own research and experience the Empty Nest Syndrome is the lost and lonely feeling parents have after their last child leaves the “nest”. For me it’s been a gradual leaving of children over the last ten years. I miss each one as they go but soon all of them will be gone.
Not every parent has this kind of feeling but I think for the most part mothers do since they are the nurturers in the family. Of course husbands are there to be good partners too but a hole in their hearts will be left and mothers especially miss their children when they leave. As a couple, if they have been continuing to nurture a good relationship between themselves, then the recovery of a child leaving home is minimal. Continuing to nurture the relationship between parents is a good way to start the journey off as an “Empty Nester”.
There is also the role parents now play to young single adults when they want to live their own life and make their own decisions. This is where you find out whether anything you have taught your children stays in their head. This is where the true test of parenthood becomes a reality, because when children leave home and make their own decisions without their parents looking over their shoulder, the true test of adulthood comes through.
As “Empty Nesters” find themselves with a lot of time on their hands, these suggestions might help to start a new life on their own:
- Volunteer: There are so many organizations that need people to help. Those with a stable life and income can do so much to improve the world around them and the pay back in helping others is tremendous. My sister found a wonderful organization called the Burrito Brigade. These volunteers get together every week and make a nutritious vegetarian burrito for the homeless and others who cannot feed themselves. It has been a satisfying journey for my sister as she is retired and can help her community feed themselves.
- Find a hobby: We all tell ourselves that one day we will write that novel or one day we will create that painting. Now is the time to do it. Whatever strikes your fancy and holds your interest is a great way to funnel all those creative juices you have been storing up all these years. Your creativity might even help others.
- Find Employment/Start a business: If you always wanted to start your own business, this certainly is a good time and will keep you busy. It is a known fact that doing what we love to do helps keep us young and healthy. It’s sort of a “fountain of youth” pill. As I have waved goodbye to my children, I have developed a plan to remodel an old hotel in my home town and open an historical museum and gift shop. This whole project will certainly keep me busy and when I’m finished my children will have a place of interest to come visit me.
- Travel: This is the chance to take that trip to Europe. This is the chance to fulfill your dream of finding the town your great-grandparents came from so long ago. Traveling is a great way to fill the hole your children left when they become adults. Whether it’s traveling to see grandchildren or old friends getting out of the house and your old routine will do wonders.
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To read more of Valerie’s articles, click here.
Downsize: A good friend of mine and her husband created a new own home by selling the house they raised their six children and moved into an apartment. They love it because they don’t have to clean so much, have so much stuff in their home or take care of the yard. It was perfect for them. Many parents who have large homes and don’t want the responsibility, sell what they have and move into smaller dwellings.
No matter what stage of “empty nest” you are in, life will bring many opportunities to enrich your life and make the world a better place to live.
Valerie Steimle has been writing as a family advocate for over 25 years. As a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she promotes Christian living in her writings and is the mother of nine children and grandmother to twelve. Mrs. Steimle authored six books and is a contributing writer to several online websites. To her, time is the most precious commodity we have and knows we should spend it wisely.
To read more of Valerie's work, visit her at her website, The Blessings of Family Life.
