Pranks. Practical Jokes. Dastardly deeds of trickery. What to send our missionary for the First of April in two weeks? Hmm …

 

After brainstorming for a bit, I decided to create my own “Make Your Companion Laugh Game”.

 

missionary mormons

Missionaries

First, I searched online for the corniest jokes, the kind of jokes your grandpa used to tell. Jokes that are so bad that they are good! I printed these terrible jokes onto cardstock, each joke within its own square.

 

Then I cut the squares and added a sheet of instructions. Fill in the rest of the package with yummy treats, and its ready to post!

 

Make Your Companion Laugh Game Instructions

 

Object of game: Get your companion to smile or laugh before you do!

 

  1. Shuffle cards and split deck in half. Place each half-deck face-down in front of each player.
  2. Missionary with the birthday closest to April 1st goes first.
  3. First player takes their top card and reads the joke aloud. Missionary may use vocal sounds, facial expressions, or any method NOT involving physical contact to get opponent to smile.
  4. After opponent has finished reading the card, second missionary has a turn. Continue taking turns until someone has smiled.

 

  How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten-tickles.

  Why don’t they play games in the jungle?

     Too many cheetahs.

Why does a seagull fly over the sea?

Because if it flew over the bay, it’d be a bagel.

Why did the bicycle fall over?Because it was two tired. What do you call a fake noodle?An impasta. What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business.

What do you call an alligator

in a vest?

An in-vest-a-gator.

What kind of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality.

Why are there gates around cemeteries?

Because people are dying to get in.

Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Right where you left him.

What do you call a cow with a twitch?

Beef jerky.

What kind of shoes do frogs where?

Open toad.

What kind of dog doesn’t bark?

A hush puppy.

What do you call a pile of cats?

A meow-tain.

What does a clock do when it’s hungry?

It goes back four seconds.

   Where did the cat go after                        losing its tail?

             The retail store.

Where does a waitress with only one leg work?

IHOP.

How much room is needed for fungi to grow?

As mushroom as possible.

 

What do you get when you cross a Jamaican and a ginger?

A gingerbreadmon.

   Why did the can crusher quit his job?

It was soda pressing.

   What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No eye-deer.

I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people.

But none of them work.

   Why should you never use a dull pencil?

Because it’s pointless.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?Because he Never lands …

(I love this joke because it never grows old.)

How do you count cows?

With a cow-culator.

Why did Waldo go to therapy?

He wanted to find himself.

Why do fish always sing off-key?

Because you can’t tuna fish.

If a cop pulls over a U-haul …

Is he trying to bust a move?

What do you call someone with no body and a nose?

Nobody knows.

   What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?

Bison.

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a little boogey in it.

What do you call someone who never farts in public?

A private tutor.

What do get when you cross vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

  If you ever get cold, go stand in a corner …

They’re usually 90֯.

What did the baby corn say to the mommy corn?

Where’s Pop corn?

  What’s something red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

 

Why does a flamingo stand on one leg?

If it didn’t stand on any, it would fall over.

  What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time.

 What’s blue and smells like red paint?

Blue paint.

What do you call a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.

What’s grey and can’t fly?

A parking lot.

A blind man walks into a bar,

and a chair … and a table.

Why is the math book sad?

It has too many problems.

Why did the bird go to the hospital?

To get tweet-ment.

If you wear cowboy clothes

Are you Ranch dressing?

I wondered why the football was getting bigger …

Then it hit me.

Knock-knock.Who’s there?

Etch.

Etch-who?

Bless you.

Why do you hear people talking?

Because you have ears.

Of course I’m in shape!

Round is a shape.

  I gave all my dead batteries away today …

Free of charge.

What kind of shoes does an artist wear?

Sketchers.

Yesterday a clown held a door open for me …

I thought it was a nice jester.

What does a house wear?

A dress (address).

A man tried to sell me a coffin today …

I told him that’s the last thing I need.

 

Whenever I want to start to eat healthily …

A chocolate bar looks at me and snickers.

What’s the best thing about elevator jokes?

They work on so many levels.

What do you call a group of killer whales playing instruments?

An Orca-stra.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

I asked a Frenchman if he played video games …

He said, “Wii.”

Did you hear about the new restaurant on the moon?

  The food is great, but there’s no atmosphere.

I dig. You dig.She dig. He dig.

We dig. They dig.
It’s not a beautiful poem,

but it’s deep.

What do clouds wear under their shorts?

Thunder-pants.

What did the sushi say to the bee?

Wasabi.

Why didn’t Cinderella make the team?

She ran away from the ball.

What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A pouch potato.

Did you hear about the kidnapping at the preschool?

He woke up.

What happens when an egg laughs?

It cracks up.

What are two words that will open lots of doors in your life?

Push. Pull.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Get in the car.

A man got hit in the head with a can of soda …

He was alright, it was a soft drink.

I used to think that math was pointless …

    Then I realized that decimals had a point.

Why did the banana go to the doctor?

It wasn’t peeling well.

What’s brown and sticky?

A stick.

Where did Napoleon keep his armies?

In his sleevies.

Two fish are in a tank.One turns to the other and says,

“How do you drive this thing?”

 Why can’t your nose be twelve inches long?

   Because then it would be a foot.

  What’s white and can’t climb trees?

A fridge.

What’s a bagel that can fly?

A plane bagel.

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas?

He could feel his presents.

Why doesn’t anyone want to shave a crazy sheep?

Because it’s a baaaaaaaaad idea!

Ban pre-shredded cheese!

Make America grate again.

Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

Dentists make money off people with bad teeth.

 Why should I use the toothpaste they recommend?

   What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?

A can’t opener.

Whatever you do in life, always give 100%

unless you’re giving blood.

  What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?

A stick.

 What is always spelled wrong in the dictionary?

Wrong.

What did the lamp say to the man?

Nothing.

  A lamp is an inanimate object.

It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs …

   Because they always take things, literally.

Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees?

          Because they’re really good at it.

To read more of Emlee Taylor’s Missionary Mom moments, click here.

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About Emlee Taylor
Growing up all over the world gave Emlee Taylor an opportunity to see the incredible differences the Lord created in humanity; and even better, the passions we all share as members of the human race: love for family, faith, & a desire to make a difference. Emlee lives life with passion—focusing her time now on raising four children and teaching them to recognize truth and to live true to that truth, regardless of others’ expectations. Emlee is passionately in love with her bestest friend and husband of almost 20 years. 

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