Children need Walls. Adults need Walls. I need a Wall. Everybody needs a Wall. A “Wall” meaning a person who stands emotionally stable and does not budge. One with integrity and enough love to stand firm and give back positive support. One whom we can bump into when in distress but won’t falter.
For all the time we had our children my husband was this Wall. Then he passed away and I had to be the Wall but I wasn’t. I just didn’t. I was so busy grieving and catching my breath trying to keep up, I wasn’t the Wall I should have been. But no use in regrets. I can be the Wall now for my youngest and for friends in close relationships who need a Wall. I can be a Wall for grandchildren who need someone to love them.
These Walls are people who can be the shoulder to cry on. Someone to listen to the outpouring of negative emotion from experience in tragedies and return positive thought and goodness. It takes a patient heart and a listening ear. It’s a tough job so these Walls have to be sturdy and strong, loving and kind.
One way to be emotionally strong is to practice dumping our own insecurities. We can clear the negative messages in our brain by giving ourselves positive feedback every day. Music does this for me as I choose positive messages in the thousands of songs available on the radio, YouTube, I-pods or other electronic devices.
Walls are boundaries for children. Children need boundaries. They need someone to stand up to them and say: “No, you cannot do that,” regardless of the temper tantrum they show. Hug them often and make sure they know the rules of the house. Even more important follow through on those rules and you will see how well they respond after a while. Parenting is tough and the results can’t always be measured right away but they will come and the blessings are great.
Walls for adults are not always easy. Adults can build emotional Walls around themselves to keep out relationships or they can use a Wall to discipline themselves in righteous living. According to Margarita Tartakovsky,
“Boundaries are essential to healthy relationships. As adults, we are encouraged to tune into our feelings and practice self-awareness. Ponder our past and our present, be assertive and help others.”
The ultimate Wall for all of mankind is our Savior, Jesus Christ. If we align our actions and words with those of the Savior, then we will always have a boundary for our life. Through the miracle of modern revelation Joseph Smith gives us the Doctrine and Covenants which has inspired writings and testimony of the Lord Jesus Christ:
“That by him, and through him, and of him, the worlds are and were created, and the inhabitants thereof are begotten sons and daughters unto God” (D&C 76:22–24). From a document presented in April of 2000 at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS Church) we read the testimony of fifteen witnesses:
“We testify that He will someday return to earth. ‘And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together’ (Isa. 40:5). He will rule as King of Kings and reign as Lord of Lords, and every knee shall bend and every tongue shall speak in worship before Him. Each of us will stand to be judged of Him according to our works and the desires of our hearts.
We bear testimony, as His duly ordained Apostles—that Jesus is the Living Christ, the immortal Son of God. He is the great King Immanuel, who stands today on the right hand of His Father. He is the light, the life, and the hope of the world. His way is the path that leads to happiness in this life and eternal life in the world to come. God be thanked for the matchless gift of His divine Son.”
Walls and boundaries are a great emotional support in our lives. It allows us to move forward in time and be a shining example to those around us.
Valerie Steimle has been writing as a family advocate for over 25 years. As a convert to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, she promotes Christian living in her writings and is the mother of nine children and grandmother to twelve. Mrs. Steimle authored six books and is a contributing writer to several online websites. To her, time is the most precious commodity we have and knows we should spend it wisely. To read more of Valerie's work, visit her at her website, The Blessings of Family Life.