Lighten Up? But This is Serious!

My daughter pulled a big, Sam’s size bag of shredded cheese out of the refrigerator–upside down.  I stood there watching, shocked and unable to react in time.  The entire package of orange gold landed in a heap on her feet.  At this time of life our budget was really tight.  We had just found out that one of my children had a disability that could not be cured.  We were very stressed, and everything was serious.  I took one more look into her big, fearful eyes and instead of yelling at her, laughed.

I laughed.  It was, in some sort of way, funny.  We had all been so serious for so long it had become utterly painful in our house.  She smiled, and because I let go instead of freaking out, I had enough presence of mind to save the top of the cheese pile before throwing the rest away.

Humor can be entirely absent when we are focused and driven, reaching for the top.  If you are like me, you have an inner urgency that demands efficient use of time.  We can’t excel by sitting around. But when we become overly tired, stressed, or task oriented, we can lose our sense of humor.  My dad called it “losing your mirth” or  having your “bow strung too tight.”

I read that one of the best ways to prevent positive challenge and stress from becoming distress is to get enough rest.  With enough sleep we just plain handle life better.  I’ve been very surprised when because of my health I’ve had to take several, hour-long breaks waiting for pain medicine to kick in in order to feel well enough to do anything.  On those days I still manage to get a ton done because I am well rested and have everything planned and organized.

Our endurance is much longer if we rest before we are overly tired.  I noticed that if I take a lunch break (for me usually after lunch when little ones were napping or just before they come home from school) and actually let myself relax, I’m a much calmer, happier person in the evening with my family.   It is so worth it to me, and I think my whole family appreciates it, too.  So, if your life is distressing, give yourself a break–literally.

Another strategy is to lighten up!

Lighten up?  When my performance or this ________________(fill in the blank) is so important to me, and I’ve been working on it for months?

What is it that threatens a prepared performance the most?  If you think about it you know–taking it too seriously.

We can’t be afraid to do our best, and ironically, that requires that we also not fear our failures.  I have watched some exceptional speakers.  They have one amazing thing in common, they make mistakes! But, the audience doesn’t notice because the speaker does not become embarrassed by it, lose their cool, or in other ways become uncomfortable themselves.  This is the clue for us, the audience, in how to respond.  I watched a member of our city council make a big fumble in her speaking, correct it and move on without the blink of an eye.  It was so inspiring!

In a high school play I even won a medal because I made a mistake. Since I reacted to it in the way my character would have, the audience didn’t ever know it wasn’t in the script.  This skill, of rolling with the punches and not letting it knock you out is so, so useful!

I know mistakes are part of life, and they can be so painful. There’s nothing I’d love more than to avoid them altogether.  But, if I care too much, my anxiety will never help me do better.   So I keep reminding myself, if I want to win, I’ve got to allow for a lot of imperfection along the way.

If you are prepared for and not afraid of mistakes, maybe even welcoming them with a hearty laugh, you might be surprised.  You could win an award for your stunning performance.

Mistakes are human, and they happen.

Instead of cringing or crying, let’s sing.

Dare to be a beginner.

Dare to try.

Relax, take a rest or even laugh.

Really, it’s not that serious (even when it is).

 

Namaste,

DarEll S. Hoskisson