Serve WITH Your Children

Less than a week ago, my friend Sophia’s daughter Anita had her entire summer ripped away when a drunk driver slammed into her as she walked across the road. Anita is miraculously home now.  But her journey of healing is only beginning as she has to re-learn how to use her body.  And her mind has to heal from a double-concussion. Her body’s damage will heal more quickly than her mind.  And this is going to be a long, difficult journey for her and her family.

Wanting to Serve

Knowing that yesterday would be an especially difficult day, since she was making the difficult transition from hospital to home—I offered to make dinner for their family.

Then life hit! Both my son and teen daughter were gone on a miniature golf outing with friends.  And my younger two daughters had a swim team practice, followed by activities at church.  That left me to get everyone where they needed to be.  And I still needed to prepare dinner for two families.

Overwhelmed

I started to feel beyond overwhelmed as I looked at our almost bare fridge.  I just haven’t had time to do a grocery run lately! I growled at my youngest daughter, “Now is not the time to chatter at me!” as she followed me around nattering on about something to do with something.

I began to hyper-ventilate trying to figure out how to prepare meals for both families in the only spare 45 minutes I had. … I offered a quick prayer in my heart, “Please, I am TRYING to do good, but I just don’t see how I can do this!”

I took a deep breath and a sense of calm came into my mind. First, assess the freezer—what do I have? Ingredients for meatloaf? Perfect!  I threw the meat in the microwave to thaw as I figured out the rest of the meal.

Involve the Family

Next, get my two swimsuit-clad daughters to help! They happily began peeling, chopping, mixing, cleaning, and chattering alongside me as we worked.

The feelings of being overwhelmed and inadequate faded as I stepped back, took a breath, and trusted in my Heavenly Father to help. … AND in my daughters to help as well. Too often, I try to do it all myself.  I think somehow that I can get it done faster and more efficiently than if I allow my little ones to help.

Sure, the carrots weren’t perfectly peeled.  But my tween daughter was so proud as she peeled almost 2 pounds of carrots in record time. The meatloaf was mixed with MUCH more enthusiasm and gusto than I’ve ever given it by my 9-year-old.  And she chattered happily (as she mixed) about the sliminess and gooey-ness and how much she liked it!

Joy

It was amazing to me how much we accomplished together, and what a wonderful spirit of joy filled the kitchen as we worked. We left, on time, for swim practice with vegetables and meatloaf cooking in the oven and as my daughters swam, I reflected.

How often do my husband and I discuss that we need to get our children to serve more, and learn through experience, the joys that come through service? And yet I almost cheated my daughters out of having a service experience because I thought there was no time. Why do I think that by serving by myself that my children will learn about service? The girls were so excited to be a part of helping Anita’s family.  They are well aware of the accident and wanted to do more than just make a get-well card. Just like me, they wanted to be of use.  Why would I, as a parent, deny them of this opportunity?

Why did I think that by doing it all myself that time would be saved? Am I really that prideful? The fact is, I could not have done it alone.  The girls helped me tremendously! It wasn’t done perfectly, but I could not do it perfectly myself.  Even with all the time in the world.  I am not perfect, so why do I think that somehow my efforts were above that of my daughters? The fact is, the food was prepared with love.  The carrots may not have all been chopped with perfect precision, but they would still fill a hungry belly.

Working together

When did we become so obsessed with appearances, and being perfect, that we neglect meaningful experiences of learning? My daughters and I shared a wonderful memory of working together side-by-side to help someone in need. What a wonderful learning opportunity for them! What a wonderful memory for me! … And I almost didn’t allow it to happen because of some twisted idea, that if I did it all by myself it would be a better offering.

We need to stop putting our children in front of electronics; as we run around trying to keep house and serve others.  We need to allow our children to work alongside us. They will best learn life skills by DOING, not by watching. They will best learn how to serve- and the blessings that come through service, by DOING, not by watching.

Satisfaction

My son helped me to deliver the hot dinner following swim practice.  And my mother’s heart was touched as I watched him smile down at his friend lying on the couch with genuine care and compassion. As we pulled out of the driveway, we shared a laugh at how her father could not even wait for us to set the dinner onto the counter before reaching for a plate as he asked, “Is it hot?” … He has been too worried and overwhelmed to eat a real meal for almost a week.

Then our entire family laughed and laughed as we received a text from Sophia later that evening, “The food is amazing. I don’t know what I am eating but I love it!” … Apparently, meatloaf is not something people eat in Portugal! ☺

Grateful

How grateful I am that our Savior helped me to breathe and to take a moment to include my children in service. Together we served, together we learned, and together we laughed.

It may not have been wonderfully perfect … but it was perfectly wonderful!